Zhou Yining sat on the bed, listening to the sound of water from the bathroom. Ji Dongyang was showering.
She walked to the cabinet, opened the drawer, and took out several bottles of medicine. Pouring them into her palm, she counted the quantity. But as she brought them to her mouth, she stopped again, remembering Ji Dongyang’s low mmm and his gentle kiss.
She pulled a tissue, wrapped the pills, and threw them into the trash can.
The bathroom door wasn’t locked; it opened with a twist. The man inside froze for a moment, looking at her.
She discarded her bathrobe. Her soft, fair body was naked. Barefoot, she walked under the showerhead, becoming soaking wet like him. Two bodies pressed close.
Love unending, desire flourishing.
…
The next day’s filming involved several children. The youngest was three or four, the oldest no more than seven or eight. Apart from two child actors, the rest were children with autism, often called “children from the stars.” This was Zhou Yining’s first time interacting with such children.
Ji Dongyang had interacted with these children in previous scenes. One little girl had very large, round eyes, very cute, but she kept her head down, immersed in her own world.
Zhou Yining didn’t dare to approach; she was a little afraid of interacting with these children. But Ji Dongyang was different. She saw him pat the little girl’s head and talk to her. The little girl ignored him, but he wasn’t impatient.
After filming ended, the little girl suddenly tugged at Zhou Yining’s skirt. Zhou Yining couldn’t leave. Looking back, she saw the little girl’s small hand stroking the beautiful embroidery on her skirt hem.
She was somewhat at a loss, standing there, unable to leave and not knowing what to say.
Soon, the teacher who brought the autistic children hurried over, apologetically saying, “She likes the flowers on your skirt.”
Zhou Yining said “Oh,” pursed her lips, and looked down at the little girl.
The teacher was already communicating with the child. Zhou Yining stood there watching, thinking that if the girl liked it, she would just cut the hem off for her. Just as she thought this, the little girl let go. The teacher smiled apologetically at her again and carried the girl away.
Zhou Yining turned around and found everyone looking at her. Ji Dongyang was looking at her too, a smile in his eyes.
The assistant director asked with a smile, “Yining doesn’t like children?”
Zhou Yining hesitated, then shook her head. “No.”
“I see you’re different from other girls. Other girls like to tease kids when they see them. I thought you didn’t like them.”
Zhou Yining looked at the girls in the crew surrounding the two cute child actors. After a moment of silence, she said, “I don’t know how to play with children.”
That evening, the crew distributed boxed lunches. After eating, Zhou Yining went to Ji Dongyang’s rest room.
He was resting with an eye mask on.
She walked over and touched his face. As soon as she touched him, he grabbed her hand. Ji Dongyang pulled down the eye mask and looked at her. “Not resting for a bit?”
They had stayed up late last night, and there was a night shoot tonight. He was afraid she couldn’t handle it.
Zhou Yining shook her head. “No need. We have to continue filming soon. Waking up after falling asleep feels worse.”
Ji Dongyang squeezed her hand and stood up to make coffee.
Zhou Yining hugged him from behind and asked, “Do you like children?”
Although he didn’t talk much on set and had a colder personality than most, he seemed to like children quite a bit. Just now, when the two child actors clung to him, he even played with them for a while.
Ji Dongyang hesitated, then gave a low “Mm.”
Then, he asked her, “You don’t like them?”
Zhou Yining pressed against his back, shaking her head. “I like them, but I’m afraid I won’t raise them well.”
Both liking and fearing. She felt children were very cute, but also very fragile.
Ji Dongyang smiled and didn’t speak.
Before A Ming came in, he knocked on the door, and Zhou Yining walked out holding her coffee.
That night, the entire crew pulled an all-nighter. When Zhou Yining left the set, her steps were a bit floaty. Zhang Ran walked her downstairs and left.
Zhou Yining took a shower and fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed.
When the alarm rang at 1 PM, she climbed up and rushed back to the set. There were only about 10 days left until wrap. The shooting schedule was tight, and everyone was exhausted.
Surprisingly, Zhou Lihui came to visit the set, and Shen Yanjun came with him.
Zhou Yining was dozing off in a chair. Zhang Ran called her. Shen Yanjun wanted to stop her, but it was too late. Zhou Yining had already looked up. Seeing them, she froze for a moment, a bit dazed, but quickly returned to her cold demeanor. “Dad, why are you here?”
Zhou Lihui smiled. “After the meeting, Yanjun was coming over, so I came along to take a look.”
Zhou Yining didn’t speak, glancing at Shen Yanjun.
Shen Yanjun looked at her quietly, feeling the sense of estrangement growing stronger, a force pulling them further apart. Yet he was powerless, because Zhou Yining couldn’t be forced. After knowing about her illness, he couldn’t force her even more.
He hadn’t understood before why she said they were impossible, nor why she insisted on running away from the marriage.
Now, everything was clear.
Just as she said, she wouldn’t be with him no matter who she ended up with. Being with him meant being entangled with the Zhou family, Zhou JiaHui, and Xia Yun. She had always wanted to stay far away from them; only then could she be most at ease.
Zhou Lihui and Shen Yanjun’s arrival delayed the crew’s schedule again. Seeing the crew members coming over to deal with them, Zhou Yining frowned and called Shen Yanjun aside. “It’s fine if you come, but why did you bring my dad? Don’t you know you delay the crew’s time every time you come?”
Shen Yanjun smiled. “I told them they don’t need to pay attention to us.”
Zhou Yining rolled her eyes. “How is that possible? You’re the investor; you’re God, don’t you know?”
Shen Yanjun smiled again, then quickly stopped, his tone light and tinged with sadness. “I’m leaving soon. Once you finish filming, you’ll leave here too, right? It will be hard to meet in the future.”
Zhou Yining was silent for a few seconds. “Yeah.”
She laughed. “If I get famous, I’ll be very busy.”
Shen Yanjun stared at her. “Do you want to be famous?”
Zhou Yining: “It’s okay.”
Shen Yanjun: “You will be.”
Zhou Yining talked to him for a while, then turned and left.
Zhou Lihui left shortly after. Zhou Yining stood in the corridor, looking at his back in a daze. When she caused trouble in school back then, even the principal couldn’t get him to come. She and Zhou JiaHui were in different classes; he never came to parent-teacher meetings either. Xia Yun always arrived punctually at Zhou JiaHui’s class.
Unexpectedly, after so many years, Zhou Lihui actually came to visit her on set.
On the other side, in the empty room next to the prop room, Ji Dongyang looked at Shen Yanjun and said indifferently, “You looking for me?”
Shen Yanjun lit a cigarette and asked him, “Want one?”
Ji Dongyang: “No thanks.”
Shen Yanjun knew he didn’t have much time. Blowing out a few smoke rings, he looked at him. “Do you know about Yining’s past?”
Ji Dongyang glanced at him. “I know.”
On the night of Zhou JiaHui’s birthday party, Lu Xiao had mentioned some things. He had listened absently then, not remembering much, but he recalled she didn’t have a good life at home. She was robbed in the UK. If he hadn’t appeared, it wasn’t hard to imagine what those men would have done after failing to get money. Her cards were stopped. Who stopped them wasn’t hard to guess, either, her father or her stepmother. Regardless of who it was, her father definitely knew. Essentially harmed by her own father, how desperate must she have been?
Anyone would find such an outcome hard to accept.
Especially Zhou Yining, who always yearned for family love.
Later, she almost killed someone with that gun. Ji Dongyang didn’t know what happened after that, but she was young then. A teenage girl experiencing so much, plus her unpredictability and careful hiding of emotions, Ji Dongyang could guess and feel it.
If talking about it made her uncomfortable, he wouldn’t ask.
Shen Yanjun flicked the ash, his voice very low. “Then do you know about her illness?”
Ji Dongyang was silent for a few seconds. “I know.”
Shen Yanjun looked at him in surprise. After a long while, he said, “When did you know?”
Ji Dongyang: “After filming started, I guess. She was acting a bit abnormal.”
Shen Yanjun paused. “You guessed?”
“A feeling.” Ji Dongyang glanced at him. “If that’s what you want to talk about, there’s no need. She’s in a good state now.”
With that, he turned to open the door.
Shen Yanjun stopped him. “Wait.”
Ji Dongyang turned back. Shen Yanjun slowly put out the cigarette and said, “Have you seen her during an episode? Do you know the specific cause of her illness? She almost killed someone in the UK. That incident is her psychological shadow. Some aspects of the female lead in The Heart Knot are very similar to her past. She might collapse one day. I don’t know which day. If at that time, you…”
He paused, saying seriously, “Are you sure you understand her? Once you understand that side of her, are you sure you won’t mind?”
Ji Dongyang seemed to smile. “Do you mind?”
Shen Yanjun frowned. “I wouldn’t.”
Ji Dongyang’s expression returned to indifference. “I know about her shooting that person. I gave her that gun. Regardless of what mistakes she made or what she experienced then, I am responsible.”
He opened the door, leaving one sentence behind. “I wouldn’t mind even more.”
If he hadn’t left that gun with her then, perhaps she wouldn’t have shot that person.
But that was just a perhaps. What happened, happened.
Just as she said, she didn’t regret shooting.
But she would be afraid. Ji Dongyang knew she must have been terrified at the time.
So what? He didn’t regret leaving the gun with her, either. If there hadn’t been that gun, if she hadn’t fired that shot, what would have happened? Her nature was so fierce. If that had truly happened, he didn’t know what she would have become. But it was certain that Zhou Yining wouldn’t be the Zhou Yining she was now.
No matter what, the current Zhou Yining was already the best Zhou Yining.
…
Shen Yanjun stood frozen on the spot. It took him a long time to understand Ji Dongyang’s words.
He knew Zhou Yining held onto the memory of a man whose face she couldn’t even see clearly and whose name she didn’t know. That man had helped her; he had given her that gun. Zhou Lihui had told him that when Zhou Yining had episodes in the past, she kept shouting.
“Mom, help me find someone.”
“Dad, help me find someone.”
“Mom, help me find him…”
…
At that time, she didn’t even trust her parents, yet she trusted a man whose face she couldn’t see clearly, just because he helped her when she was most desperate.
But who was he? No one knew. Even Zhou Yining at the time didn’t know.
Shen Yanjun hadn’t expected she found that person.
Even less did he expect it would be Ji Dongyang.
No wonder she was so devoted.
Shen Yanjun leaned against the wall, smiling faintly and self-deprecatingly.
Karma cycles. Some fates are destined by heaven and cannot be forced.
What should come will come; what cannot be grasped will eventually slip away.
…
Zhou Yining was hiding in Ji Dongyang’s rest room, learning to make coffee from A Ming. When Ji Dongyang came in, she looked back at him and smiled, her eyes curving. “I’m learning to make coffee from A Ming.”
A Ming’s coffee-making skills were top-notch; he could even make latte art and had the tools. However, Ji Dongyang didn’t care if the patterns on the coffee were pretty, so A Ming rarely had the chance to do it and had gotten a bit rusty.
Ji Dongyang smiled, seeing her high spirits.
A while later, she brought a cup of coffee over and placed it in front of him.
The flower pattern was ugly; only the English letters below were legible.
She lifted her face. “A bit ugly, don’t despise it.”
Ji Dongyang: “Ugly or not, it has to be drunk.”
Zhou Yining: “…”
…
It was almost 12 AM when she left the set. Zhou Yining drove herself back. After parking, she slung her bag over her shoulder and walked toward the elevator.
A voice came from behind again: “Sister.”
Zhou Yining frowned and turned around. A beautifully dressed Zhou JiaHui walked over.
Since the last time, they hadn’t seen each other. Zhou JiaHui was probably scared too and hadn’t dared to provoke her. Zhou Yining wanted peace; deep down, she resisted letting others know about her illness and her past.
She hated Zhou JiaHui. No one wanted a person they hated to know their weaknesses; it made her feel very insecure.
Zhou Yining was repulsed by seeing Zhou JiaHui. Pursing her lips, she said coldly, “Don’t disgust me.”
She walked into the elevator. Zhou JiaHui followed her in.
Zhou Yining frowned, then sneered. “What do you want to do now? You’re not afraid of me anymore?”
Zhou JiaHui smiled. “Aren’t you in a good mood recently?”
Zhou Yining took out her phone and called Zhou Lihui directly. “Dad, Zhou JiaHui is here. Please come take her away. I’m in no mood to deal with her.”
“Why are you tattling to Dad?!”
Zhou JiaHui panicked and tried to grab her phone in anger. Zhou Yining took a step back and stuffed the phone back into her bag.
Ding
She pushed Zhou JiaHui away and walked out of the elevator quickly, not wanting to say another word.
Zhou JiaHui’s phone rang soon after. It was Zhou Lihui. Zhou JiaHui didn’t dare not answer. “Dad.”
Zhou Lihui roared, “Didn’t I tell you? Don’t go looking for trouble with your sister! Don’t disturb her!”
Startled by his roar, Zhou JiaHui almost cried. “Dad, you’re getting fiercer and fiercer with me lately. Is it true what Mom said? You want to bring that mother and daughter back home and kick Mom and me out…”
Zhou Lihui said sternly, “What nonsense are you talking about!”
Zhou JiaHui screamed shrilly, “You are!”
She hung up the phone, glaring furiously at Zhou Yining ahead.
Zhou Yining opened the door. Just as she was about to step inside, Zhou JiaHui shouted, “Don’t think I don’t know you’re with Dong-ge!”
NOTES
Children from the stars: A poetic term often used in China to refer to children with autism.
possible odoabuchi
✍️ Translator
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