Chapter 1: Prologue

Xu Xiangle had two fuck buddies, whom we shall refer to as Fuck Buddy A and Fuck Buddy B.

Fuck Buddy B was actually introduced by Fuck Buddy A, who claimed that “good things should be shared with good friends.” From this alone, you can tell that both of these “bros” were total assholes.

One day, Xu Xiangle was at a karaoke bar with some netizens for a round of Truth or Dare. Unfortunately, he was chosen. Having had a bit to drink, he was goaded into choosing a “Dare.” It wasn’t one of those tired, cliché dares like grabbing a random stranger and saying “I love you.” Instead, some female netizen—God knows what she was thinking—handed him a pregnancy test and told him to go pee on it.

What could possibly go wrong? He was a man. It was obviously impossible for him to turn up anything other than a blank result.

Amidst the laughter, he went to the restroom, peed on the test strip, and then returned to the table to smack the stick down with a flourish.

Xu Xiangle: “Hahaha, two lines!”

Female Netizen: “Hahaha, how is that even possible?”

Others: “Hahaha, what does that even mean?”

Female Netizen: “Hahaha, Xu Xiangle is pregnant!”

Others: “Hahaha, congratulations, my lord! Congratulations, my lady!”

Xu Xiangle: “Hahaha, thank you. Wait—thank… you…?!”

Yes, Student Xu, you have officially defied the limits of human biology!

Staring at the pregnancy test amidst the scattered glasses and plates, Xu Xiangle felt a wave of dizziness. He thought this must be a joke played by the God of Pranks; there was no way a grown man could be pregnant!

Naturally, he didn’t believe it. Initially, he laughed it off, but those two vivid red lines kept haunting his thoughts. The more he thought about it, the more wrong it felt. He couldn’t help but recall his recent bouts of lethargy and drowsiness, the nausea he felt every morning, and the minor spotting he’d had while using the bathroom three days ago—which he had naively dismissed as having too much “internal heat” or a flare-up of hemorrhoids.

He had secretly Googled his symptoms several times, and they were nearly identical to pregnancy symptoms, with the only difference being that he didn’t have a menstrual cycle to begin with.

It must be a faulty test, he thought wishfully. Or maybe I used the wrong technique.

The next morning, he was violently dry-heaving, which only increased his anxiety. He recalled a night over two months ago when, fueled by alcohol, he had a wild, drunken threesome with Fuck Buddies A and B. It was his first time ever doing that, and both those bastards hadn’t worn condoms. Could he have gotten “lucky” that night?

But he was a man!

The more he thought, the more real it became. Trembling with nerves, he went to a pharmacy and brazenly bought half a dozen more tests. He tried every possible position to pee on them, and every single one resulted in two bold red lines. They seemed to be grinning at him, mocking his gender—mocking the fact that he was a man who was, somehow, pregnant.

Even if one test was wrong, they couldn’t all be broken.

Am I a cryptic hermaphrodite? he wondered. Since birth, his appearance had been entirely male; his male reproductive organs were fully functional, and he had no “extra” parts. At most, his personality and looks were softer and more delicate than the average man, and he didn’t grow facial hair and had very little body hair.

He knew intersex individuals existed. Sex disorders and various intersex variations accounted for about 2% of the population—a non-trivial amount.

In 20XX, the Gender Equality Act was passed, allowing parents to forgo gender-correction surgery if they discovered their child was intersex. They could leave the gender field blank on birth registration, letting the child decide for themselves later. Intersex individuals were finally able to come out, though those capable of conceiving were incredibly rare.

Alternatively, there was the possibility that some hormonal imbalance in his body was triggering the test strips. It wasn’t that the sticks were broken; it was that his body was broken.

To put his mind at ease, he summoned the courage to visit a major hospital that offered gender-correction outpatient services. In a highly confidential consultation, the female doctor suppressed her surprise and said:

“Mr. Xu, you are confirmed to be a cryptic hermaphrodite. Also, congratulations, you are nine weeks pregnant.”

Xu Xiangle felt another wave of dizziness. This wasn’t a prank by the God of Pranks; it was a cruel twist of fate!

You really can’t be too promiscuous in life. He’d messed around with his fuck buddies just once, and he was already paying the price.

And so, he faced a grim choice: Abort? Or keep it?

He suddenly realized this wasn’t just his problem; it was a problem for three people.

After thinking it over for three full days, he finally invited Fuck Buddy A and Fuck Buddy B to meet him at a café. One versus two, face to face.

Facing these two men, Xu Xiangle felt his face flush with intense awkwardness. He placed the medical report on the table and stammered, “Um… I… cough… I’m… I’m pregnant.”

Fuck Buddy A: “Pregnant with what?”

Xu Xiangle: “I… I’m pregnant…”

Fuck Buddy A: (Raising an eyebrow, tone light) “Little Le-Le, are you trying to play a ‘big belly’ fetish game?”

Fuck Buddy B: (Silently picking up the report, examining it carefully) “You’re a cryptic hermaphrodite?”

Xu Xiangle: (Hurriedly) “I didn’t know either until I got checked three days ago.”

Fuck Buddy A: (Frowning) “Cryptic hermaphrodite? What does that mean?”

Fuck Buddy B: (Putting down the report) “Exactly what it sounds like. Little Le, what do you plan to do?”

Fuck Buddy A: (Suddenly grabbing the report, eyes widening as he read the data and the labels ‘Dominant Male/Recessive Female’ and ‘HCG: Positive’)

As expected, Fuck Buddy B is the more reliable one, Xu Xiangle sighed. “I wanted to decide on my own, but I thought about it—the child is definitely one of yours. Cough, cough. It happened during that time the three of us were together… Gu Ye, if you dare say it might be someone else’s, I will beat you to death right here!”

Fuck Buddy A: “I didn’t mean to say that, I just meant…”

Fuck Buddy B: “Don’t say anything. Just shut up.”

Xu Xiangle: “Since you both have a hand in this, I want to hear your opinions.”

Fuck Buddies A and B fell silent for a long time. They clearly had no idea what to do. Regardless of whether Xu Xiangle was biologically “female” or not, this pregnancy was a massive problem and a huge headache that would surely dictate the trajectory of their lives.

Fuck Buddy A finally pulled out a checkbook and a pen from his jacket. He wrote a check for five million, slammed it on the table in front of Xu Xiangle, and said guiltily, “I’ll give you five million. Get rid of it.”

Fuck Buddy B glanced at him, took his wallet out, pulled out a bank card, and pushed it toward Xu Xiangle. He said calmly, “There’s more than five million in here. Keep the baby.”

Fuck Buddy A: (Slamming another check down) “Get rid of it! I’ll add another million!”

Fuck Buddy B: (Softly) “Keep it. You can give the child to me, or keep it yourself. I will provide living expenses every month and take good care of both of you.”

Fuck Buddy A: (Face flushing red) “Lu Xingzhou, if the child is mine, are you going to raise it for me too?”

Fuck Buddy B: (Calm and composed) “As long as it’s a child born by Little Le, I am willing to raise it, regardless of whose it is.”

Fuck Buddy A: (Pointing angrily) “I knew you liked him!”

Fuck Buddy B: (Smiling) “Didn’t you know that already?”

Xu Xiangle watched them argue. Fuck Buddy A even grabbed Fuck Buddy B’s collar, furious enough to start a brawl. He even began spewing insults, mocking Xu Xiangle as a “bitch” trying to use a child to crawl into their wealthy families, saying it was ridiculous for a man to dream of flying up the social ladder. It was truly ugly.

Xu Xiangle’s expression darkened. He picked up the check, looked at the numbers and the arrogant, sloppy signature, and suddenly felt a surge of rage in his chest.

Gu Ye, you irresponsible piece of shit! Even if we’re just fuck buddies, and even if I originally wanted to get rid of the child, your attitude is absolutely intolerable!

“I don’t give a damn about crawling into your family!” With that, Xu Xiangle tore the check in half, threw the pieces forcefully into Fuck Buddy A’s face, kept the bank card, and told Fuck Buddy B, “After the baby is born, I’ll give it to you. The Lu family is big and has plenty of illegitimate children; one more won’t matter. I’ll take this money as expenses for the pregnancy and postnatal care. You don’t need to support me after this; I can support myself.”

Fuck Buddy A and Fuck Buddy B both fell silent.

Then, he died.

He died during labor.

Lying on the cold, sterile operating table, the baby was removed via C-section without a sound—likely stillborn. His blood pressure plummeted. Amidst the chaotic noise of the emergency rescue, he heard Fuck Buddy A roaring at Fuck Buddy B, shouting that he’d heard it was dangerous for intersex people to give birth, which was exactly why he wanted it terminated.

He heard Fuck Buddy B saying he couldn’t bear to lose the child, and that he’d planned to marry him once the baby was born.

He could even hear the choked sobs in their angry voices, making him hallucinate that they weren’t just his fuck buddies, but his lovers.

Then, his body jerked under the electric shocks, and he couldn’t hear anything else.

His life flashed before his eyes—mostly memories of the messy, chaotic situations he’d had with his two fuck buddies.

Who knew my last thoughts before dying would still be so filthy? Xu Xiangle—’Xiangle’ as in ‘enjoying pleasure.’ He was only twenty-three; his life had barely begun, he hadn’t enjoyed enough pleasure yet, and now he was going to die because of childbirth? It was the most absurd ending imaginable. I suppose it’s my own fault, he thought.

He let out a weak, bitter, and ironic chuckle—the last sound of his life—and his consciousness slowly sank into eternal darkness.

If I could choose again… I would definitely have taken that check…

He didn’t know how long he was unconscious. When he finally drifted back to consciousness, the first thing he saw upon opening his eyes was Fuck Buddy A sitting across from him. His expression was frivolous, his eyes wicked, and he was sprawled across the sofa with his legs wide open, looking down at him and saying:

“How about this? I’ll reluctantly be your fuck buddy again!”

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