Chapter 4: Human, You May Offer Your Food to Me…

What’s wrong? He Zaizhi glanced over before turning back to speak, only to notice Chu Tingyan’s gaze still fixed on the palace maid.

Do you see that palace maid over there? How many people are there in total? Chu Tingyan asked slowly.

Hmm, five people total, He Zaizhi frowned at him, replying with a single syllable while his eyes held a trace of doubt. What’s the matter?

Chu Tingyan knitted his brows and looked at the nearby guards – all appeared calm, as if no one had noticed anything unusual.

Your Highness? He Zaizhi waved his hand before Chu Tingyan’s eyes.

The two had campaigned north and south together since their teenage years, sharing military tents. When He Zaizhi addressed him as Your Highness, it was either during serious discussions requiring utmost caution or as a subtle reminder.

Chu Tingyan didn’t respond, wanting to observe more carefully, when he saw the palace maid bend down to pick something up from the grass. His eyes focused intently, and he rubbed them.

—Those ears had disappeared.

Your Highness? The Imperial Guard following them also noticed Chu Tingyan’s unusual behavior and stepped forward to inquire.

What exactly are you staring at? He Zaizhi chuckled. Did you stay up all last night and now you’re seeing things?

Seeing things?

Chu Tingyan remained silent, withdrawing his gaze as he said calmly, It’s nothing.

He added, Go ask the Imperial Garden guards which palace that maid serves and what she’s doing out here.

Yes, the Imperial Guard acknowledged the order and quickly returned. She’s a second-class maid from Danfeng Palace with a Waist Token and proper exit seals. She said she’s going to the flower house to collect new potted plants and stopped by the Imperial Garden to pick fresh flowers for vases.

Understood, Chu Tingyan waved his hand, then noticed He Zaizhi’s hesitant expression. What’s wrong with you?

…Nothing. He Zaizhi swallowed the words that had just reached his lips.

*

Fortunately, she found it. Yun Huan picked up the Jade Tablet from the grass near the wall corner, her heart still pounding.

Back in their room, her two roommates Chunlan and Qiaoer were also present. Qiaoer asked her, You returned early yesterday – did you hear any noises?

Chunlan said, She had menstrual cramps and probably went to sleep early. How could she have heard anything?

Yun Huan nodded. I slept deeply and didn’t hear anything.

I thought so! Qiaoer widened her eyes dramatically. You were lying so still last night – do you know what Chunlan and I saw when we returned from duty?

What? Yun Huan played along.

Two whole plates of pastries, this much, Qiaoer gestured, completely eaten up!

She emphasized, Eaten extremely clean, without even a single crumb left behind.

…She’d really forgotten about that.

…It wasn’t me who ate them, Yun Huan said somewhat guiltily.

The plates were as large as what one could hold with both hands – if she admitted to eating that much, the palace would immediately summon Taoist priests to exorcise evil spirits and recall her soul.

Yun Huan felt deeply apologetic and silently said sorry in her heart.

It’s fine, Qiaoer said. Of course I know it wasn’t you. With your tiny waist, you’d probably be full after just two bites.

…Well, if only that were true.

If her appetite were just normal, she wouldn’t need to sneak off to the Imperial Kitchen for extra meals every day! Recently, the Imperial Guards had strengthened security, and she didn’t want to be skinned and boned by Taoist priests to be made into magical artifacts. This nighttime snack route was effectively cut off, and she hadn’t figured out where to get her next meal yet.

The group sat together, laughing and chatting merrily. Qiaoer then said with a serious expression, I heard from the others that it’s either rats or cats. People have been saying for a while that there are wild creatures causing trouble around here, and it seems it’s really getting out of hand.

Definitely not rats, Chunlan said. No rat could eat that much. It seems more like a pack of wild cats.

Yun Huan nodded. Yes, it must be cats.

That wasn’t entirely wrong, and the guilt she felt from lying eased a little.

Ah, if it really is cats, I don’t mind so much. It’s better than having rats infesting our rooms, Chunlan said. But next time the wild cats come, can I pet them a couple of times? I’m willing to give them some tuckahoe cakes.

That’s a great idea!

That evening, a beautifully furred cat strolled leisurely and leaped onto the wall beside Danfeng Palace.

She rarely used this method before because she couldn’t disappear without reason during the day. Only at night could she leave a substitute in her bed and transform into a cat to go foraging. However, with the palace curfew, most people went to bed early, making it more practical to just go to the Imperial Kitchen for an all-you-can-eat feast.

But now, the Imperial Kitchen had increased patrols by the Imperial Guards at night, making it impossible to sneak into the storeroom for snacks. Well then, it’s decided—you humans are my targets now!

Yesterday, every one of you petted me at least once. Now it’s time to pay up!

The two locations weren’t far apart. With her tail held high, the little cat trotted briskly and soon arrived at the courtyard where the Imperial Guards were stationed.

Her timing was unfortunate. The sun had already set in the west, and the Imperial Guards had finished their evening meal, leaving only a faint trace of fish aroma in the air. Yun Huan ignored the various clicking sounds people made along the way to attract cats and followed the scent precisely to the only person still eating.

He wore a martial artist’s robe with a qilin embroidered on the chest, covered by a thin layer of fine armor. A Diéxiè belt hung on his right side with a brocade pouch attached, accentuating his broad shoulders and long legs. Palace rules were strict, with specific attire for each rank. For those of the same rank, the accessories they wore at their waists often varied. Yun Huan usually identified people by this. Comparing his clothing and embroidery, she confirmed it was the same Lieutenant Li from yesterday.

Since they had met before, he wasn’t a stranger anymore. Yun Huan walked over confidently and blinked her eyes to hint.

Human, you may now offer your food to me.

Chu Tingyan looked down and saw the wild cat he had encountered yesterday. It seemed to have some lynx bloodline, with golden fur dotted like a small leopard’s, unusually long legs, and tufts of long hair at the tips of its ears. Its round, emerald-green eyes were fixed intently on him, giving it an almost human-like intelligence.

Quite clever, he chuckled, picking out the fish from his meal box and offering it to her.

Yun Huan was pleased and rubbed against him as a reward before lowering her head to eat with dignified restraint.

An Imperial Guard chimed in teasingly, Cats really have an eye for recognizing good people. We followed her all the way here, and she didn’t even glance at us. Who would have thought she came specifically for the Lieutenant?

Maybe she remembered the Lieutenant from yesterday and came to repay the favor today?

Do cats even repay favors?

Get lost, Chu Tingyan laughed and scolded. Are all of you so full and idle? If you keep flattering like this, I’ll make you carry logs and run ten laps outside.

In the midst of her busy eating, Yun Huan lifted her head and meowed, which, translated into human language, meant: He’s right!

What do you mean I came specifically to receive your gratitude? I came specifically to give you humans a chance to repay my kindness! Shouldn’t you be groveling with gratitude before the Great Cat Overlord?

Chu Tingyan had been occupied during the day and had just returned to the courtyard. He hastily finished his meal, dismissed the Imperial Guards to rest, and summoned He Zaizhi inside for discussions.

Yun Huan purred as she followed them in, settling at the far end of the desk. Knowing your enemy and yourself is the key to victory – she needed to hear the Imperial Guards’ upcoming patrol arrangements to safely return to the Imperial Kitchen for extra meals.

As military men often encountered various creatures in the wild, and soldiers frequently kept cats or dogs, Chu Tingyan merely glanced at her without objection, allowing the cat to stretch comfortably at the corner of the desk. Did you find anything today?

Nothing, He Zaizhi frowned. I patrolled several rounds with the men but found no clues. It’s as if those two Demons vanished into thin air after reaching a certain location. What about your end? Any response?

None, Chu Tingyan chuckled at He Zaizhi’s sigh. The pigeon needs at least two days for a round trip, and my master travels unpredictably through the mountains – he might not even be at the foothills. Do you really take me for some immortal?

You cultivation types are always so mysterious, who knows what methods you might have… He Zaizhi muttered.

Enough, Chu Tingyan said bluntly. I only address him as master out of respect – I never actually studied under him nor am I a cultivator. Immortal arts can’t solve mortal affairs. If you’re hoping for mystical techniques to solve this, you’d have better luck praying to Buddha.

My mistake, my mistake, He Zaizhi immediately backtracked, knowing this topic made him uncomfortable.

Chu Tingyan didn’t respond, instead looking down.

While speaking earlier, he had casually gestured outward only to find his index finger enveloped in a strangely gentle sensation. The cat lay contentedly, curving into a twisted yet rounded shape while extending both front paws to grasp his finger and press it against her fur.

The cat’s lush fur formed its own soft heat source, rising and falling steadily with each breath – the sensation was quite remarkable.

He Zaizhi also looked over and smiled, reaching out to try teasing the cat. Yun Huan glanced at him but ignored him, continuing to play with Chu Tingyan’s finger – only his hand retained traces of fragrance from his recent meal.

Chu Tingyan smiled faintly.

This interlude soon passed as Chu Tingyan continued: It’s fine. I suspect they’re most likely Demons. Even if they’re not, it doesn’t affect our subsequent arrangements.

Are you certain? He Zaizhi adjusted the lamp wick. How did they enter the imperial palace?

Most likely. The mirror reflected two demonic figures, and that mirror rarely makes mistakes, Chu Tingyan said. As for the Magical artifact they used to conceal themselves – I recognized it as coming from Shu.

Yun Huan more enthusiastically licked Chu Tingyan’s finger: Human, say more!

Now she knew she was temporarily safe – at least that mirror couldn’t detect her. The good news was that once these Demons from Shu were dealt with, she could continue her extra meals at the Imperial Kitchen.

What are your chances of success? Could you invite your master to resolve this matter completely? He Zaizhi asked.

Chu Tingyan scratched her chin with a bent finger: One hundred percent certainty, but no to your request.

This is no time for jokes, said the cautious He Zaizhi with displeasure.

I never speak idly, Chu Tingyan said. Dealing with demon magic and underhanded tricks—there’s no need to involve immortal cultivators. Unnecessarily entangling with mortal affairs brings no good outcome for anyone. Just like last night, to confirm whether demons were truly causing trouble, we placed a magical artifact in the Imperial Kitchen. We could only station people at a distance to guard it. If accidentally caught in the artifact’s range, this entire area would be blown to smithereens—mortal matters should be left to us mortals to resolve.

But the Shu Kingdom… He Zaizhi still had some doubts.

Their appearance only proves they’ve exhausted their options. Chu Tingyan smiled faintly, his eyes beneath prominent brow bones gleaming like obsidian, containing a restrained brilliance.

He Zaizhi was sincerely convinced. Understood.

The two discussed miscellaneous matters further. The cat at the corner of the table had gradually fallen into deep sleep. Chu Tingyan glanced down at it again.

Perhaps because he had been pondering the matter all day, everything now seemed suspicious to him. Under the candlelight, the cat’s ear tips twitched, and he was reminded of the palace maid he saw earlier—her pair of ears were also yellow and seemed to have the same pattern.

Wait, he raised a hand, stopping He Zaizhi who was about to leave. One more thing.

What is it?

The Imperial Kitchen isn’t far from Her Majesty’s Danfeng Palace. Although we patrol daily, I fear oversights, Chu Tingyan said. In a few days, I’ll personally lead a squad to patrol there. Since I was away on campaign last year, most palace staff won’t recognize me. Just say I’m a newly transferred captain. Handle the paperwork.

…Understood. He Zaizhi stared at him for a long moment before responding.

What’s wrong? Chu Tingyan was puzzled by his gaze.

Nothing. He Zaizhi decisively left, waving his sleeve without taking even a wisp of cloud with him.

The room temperature was just right, and their conversation had been quiet. Yun Huan had unknowingly fallen asleep midway and woke to find the night deep with stars. Only Captain Li remained, bent over his desk writing. Without disturbing him, Yun Huan left through the window and visited several Imperial Guards who were still awake, managing to obtain some delicious tribute items.

Excellent! The human tribute plan was a great success! She would return tomorrow.

The next day, Yun Huan arrived precisely at the evening meal time and was pleased to find over a dozen Imperial Guards voluntarily presenting tribute.

On the third day, she came early and discovered two additional bowls placed against a wall—one for food, one for fresh water.

Little Yellow, come here! An Imperial Guard beckoned to her, flashing white teeth in a smile. This will be your bowl from now on.

She really comes every day? someone asked.

Of course, Little Yellow is very smart, the first guard told her. Come directly here to eat from now on, understand?

Yun Huan ignored the name Little Yellow and let out a haughty meow: Humans, understood. You’re quite perceptive. I reluctantly agree to let you adopt me.

Having fixed feeding bowls brought advantages—daily tributes would refresh punctually—but the disadvantage was fewer refresh cycles. Yun Huan noticed the Imperial Guards seemed to have created a rotation schedule, with someone specifically assigned to feed her daily.

No, you’ve already eaten today. That’s enough.

It’s nowhere near enough! For an ordinary cat perhaps, but for a cat demon, this wouldn’t even fill the gaps between my teeth!

Refusing to give up, Yun Huan continued following the guard with pleading meows. Just as he was about to step over the threshold, she firmly clamped onto his trouser leg.

What’s going on? another Imperial Guard passing by remarked, She doesn’t usually like to meow like this.

Yun Huan went to tug at his trouser leg again, leading the two all the way to the empty food bowl before lying down and rolling over to expose her belly.

The two exchanged a glance and scratched their heads: The bowl’s so clean—could she be hungry?

That shouldn’t be. Did Old Wang forget to feed her today?

With all that loud meowing, she must be hungry. Let’s help Old Wang out and feed her first.

After finishing her second round of Tribute Items, Yun Huan repeated the same trick, swiftly and skillfully executing her fixed routine: meow loudly at random passing humans—lead them to the empty food bowl—lie down and expose her belly while waiting for food—after eating, go find others to meow at.

On the first day with the food bowl, she ate eight meals.

On the second day, she ate sixteen meals.

On the third day, as soon as she entered the courtyard, she was grabbed and brought before Chu Tingyan.

The young Imperial Guard stammered: Commander… these past two days we’ve been taking shifts feeding the cat, but she keeps pretending to be hungry. We don’t know how many meals she’s eaten—could she overeat to death?

Exactly! The day before yesterday I thought Old Wang had forgotten to feed her, so I helped out, only to find out she’d already eaten!

I helped feed her too.

Me too…

I definitely fed her! I swear by my beard! If I forgot, may I never grow a handsome mustache! The guard called Old Wang was quite young, with only a small mustache he cherished and kept long. He now stroked it while protesting angrily.

Enough, let me see, Chu Tingyan lifted her up and examined the kitten’s belly. How much have you eaten?

Yun Huan looked innocent and let out a soft mew.

The men he brought into the palace were all his close guards. Though young, they were personally trained by him and had survived life-and-death situations together, sharing a bond unlike others. While they addressed him as Commander, in their hearts they regarded him as their general, bringing all matters to him. Though similar in age, Chu Tingyan already possessed a leader’s presence. After carefully looking at Yun Huan, he concluded: It’s fine. She’s just been extra greedy these past couple days. Be more careful from now on.

Yun Huan, displeased, reached out a paw and scratched him. Chu Tingyan paid it no mind, scratched her ears, and set her down: Go on. No more food for you today.

Yun Huan left, meowing and grumbling.

When she returned the next day, she discovered that next to the Tribute Items bowl (the cat food bowl) was an extra sheet of rice paper pasted on the wall with glue: Already fed today. Do not feed again.

Did they think this little kitten couldn’t read?

After finishing her meal, Yun Huan extended a front paw and tore the paper right off.

💝 Support the Team

soowe05

✍️ Translator

💙 PayPal