Chapter 25: Among All the Hallucinations, You Are the Most…

Yunjia Supermarket.

Zhang Yanbin returned to continue playing cards after watching the fireworks with his girlfriend.

But his brow was furrowed, and he kept rubbing his arm.

A lackey asked him, What’s wrong, Brother Bin?

Zhang Yanbin said, There was a car accident on the road behind the artificial lake. I went to check it out and saw that kid Shen Jichuan from a distance. There was an adult with him… the same guy we saw at the sugar-roasted chestnuts stall the other day, looked to be in his twenties.

Huh? Brother, did you guys get into a fight?

All you think about is fighting, fighting, fighting! Fight your ass, Zhang Yanbin said, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he drew a card. I just thought it was weird. I’ve never heard of Shen Jichuan having a relative or friend like that before. He was even squatting in front of that guy, rubbing his hands. Damn it, it was inexplicably weird and unsettling.

Follow the bet! Raise, raise, raise.

Don’t tell me Shen Jichuan is into guys, hahahaha…

How could that be? A guy as proud as him would let a man screw him in the ass? Zhang Yanbin scoffed, but then he seemed to remember something and froze for a moment.

The Demise of Homosexuality.

That’s not my book, it’s my brother’s!

The memory flashed back, freezing on the cover of that book.

When they had dumped out Shen Chengzong’s schoolbag, that pimply-faced kid seemed to have said that.

It wasn’t strange for Shen Jichuan to read books, nor was it strange for him to read this kind of book; top students were always well-read. But in this context, Zhang Yanbin sensed something odd.

Brother Bin? Brother Bin? What’s wrong with you? The cigarette is burning your hand.

Oh… it’s nothing.

Zhang Yanbin stubbed out the cigarette. Have the boys find out who that guy with Shen Jichuan is.

Shen Jichuan picked up the chestnut that was blocking the path and glanced back.

The light in the rental apartment never came on.

Did Brother Shen forget to turn on the light, or did he feel unwell after going inside?

He was still worried. After hesitating for a few seconds, he turned and walked back toward the stairwell. But after just two steps, the light in the rental apartment switched on.

It was the light in Brother Shen’s bedroom.

The lit lamp stopped Shen Jichuan’s impulse to go up and check again. He squeezed the chestnut shell. It seemed Brother Shen was already getting ready to rest.

It would be inappropriate for him to go up again.

Upstairs.

Shen Zhi stood sideways by the window. After waiting a moment, he lifted the curtain with his fingertips to take a look.

Shen Jichuan had already walked far away.

He had been standing by the window watching, seeing Shen Jichuan’s hesitation and seeing him turn back, which was why he had turned on the light.

Only after Shen Jichuan’s figure disappeared from sight did Shen Zhi leave the window.

He went to pour a glass of water. When he turned his head, he saw Shen Jichuan standing in the living room, hands behind his back, smiling at him.

Shen Zhi was taken aback. Why are you back?

Shen Jichuan just smiled, not moving.

Shen Zhi frowned and stepped forward to grab his hand. Go home. I’m really fine.

He clearly felt himself grab Shen Jichuan, but when he looked again, the ‘Shen Jichuan’ before him had vanished.

Shen Zhi closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was clutching a small, blood-drenched forearm.

He abruptly let go.

With a crash, the water glass in his hand shattered on the floor.

For a moment, Shen Zhi couldn’t even be sure if it was really a water glass on the floor. He leaned on the back of a chair to steady himself for a while before slowly crouching down to pick up the shards.

A shard pierced his fingertip. A trace of blood mixed with the water on the floor, instantly turning the entire puddle crimson.

Shen Zhi looked down and saw that his hands were also covered in dark red blood. The metallic scent of blood evaporating on summer asphalt filled his nostrils again.

He watched for a while with a blank expression.

Although he knew it was a hallucination, he still went to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and scrubbed his hands and arms.

As he washed, he found that his right hand couldn’t move.

He glanced at his right hand, only to see the long-healed wound become bloody and raw again. He could even see the blood-red bone piercing through the skin.

The moment he saw it clearly, an indescribably intense pain shot from his forearm to his cerebral cortex. He broke out in a cold sweat from the pain.

The glaring red made Shen Zhi feel dizzy.

It’s a hallucination, it’s phantom pain, none of it is real. Stay calm.

He vehemently rejected the possibility of a relapse, telling himself:

You’re already cured. This is just because Xiao Chuan is by your side and you saw a car accident, which triggered a stress response and became the fuse for this auditory and visual hallucination.

Don’t look, don’t listen, don’t think. Empty your mind.

Ever since Shen Jichuan had pulled him out of the state of stress response, his ears had been filled with noise.

The shrill chirping of insects, the sound of cars on the asphalt road, the clamor of discussions, accusations, ridicule, sighs… Even with Shen Jichuan by his side, these continuous aftereffects triggered by the stress response showed no sign of disappearing.

At that time, he was sitting on the bench by the lake, watching Shen Jichuan massage his stiff fingers.

Past memories flashed back continuously, overlapping with the present scene.

A terrifying possibility occurred to him—perhaps he hadn’t traveled back ten years at all, but had instead gone completely insane.

He was just locked in a mental hospital, fantasizing that he had returned to ten years ago, even fantasizing that he could save himself, and greedily desiring to possess himself completely, to forge a Shen Jichuan who shared his origin yet was entirely different.

This hypothesis was far more terrifying than the stress response.

Shen Zhi kept his eyes closed for a long time, until the auditory hallucinations subsided. He then used his left hand to touch his right. There were only uneven scars, no wet, warm blood.

His chaotic breathing gradually steadied. When he opened his eyes, everything had returned to normal.

There was no blood on his hands, only skin that had been scrubbed red.

He walked outside to look. The shattered glass on the floor was still there.

See, he was right.

Once he got through that short while, he was normal.

This time, Shen Zhi didn’t pick up the glass shards by hand. He prepared to go to the bathroom to get a broom.

On his way from the living room back to the bathroom, he saw the full-length mirror on the bathroom door.

The mirror reflected his figure.

But on a second look, how could it be his figure? It was clearly Shen Jichuan standing at the bathroom door.

Shen Jichuan said with concern, Brother Shen, let me clean it up.

This time, Shen Zhi stood still.

He thought it was a hallucination, but what if it wasn’t? If it wasn’t, and he didn’t react to Shen Jichuan, Shen Jichuan would notice his abnormality.

So he said cautiously, Did I not close the door… I can’t remember. When did you come in? I didn’t hear a thing.

Shen Jichuan said, Yeah, I came back and saw you hadn’t closed the door.

Doubt still lingered in Shen Zhi’s eyes. I remember closing it. Are you really Shen Jichuan?

Shen Jichuan was astonished. Uh, Brother Shen, are you kidding me? Could I be a fake? We just watched the fireworks, and we ate chestnuts yesterday, don’t you remember?

Some of the suspicion in Shen Zhi’s eyes dissipated. His head started to hurt again. I remember.

Shen Jichuan proactively walked over, smiled at him, and rolled up his left sleeve to reveal his wrist. On it was a black string with a single red bead.

Even if you don’t remember what happened before, this should prove my identity, right?

The suspicion in Shen Zhi’s eyes vanished. He endured the auditory hallucinations and dizziness and said, I was just joking with you. How could I not recognize—

Shen Jichuan suddenly disappeared in front of the mirror.

There was no Shen Jichuan. From beginning to end, there was only Shen Zhi in the mirror.

Another bout of silence.

Shen Zhi’s lips curled. He said to himself in self-amusement, Among all the hallucinations, you’re the one who teases me the most, Shen Jichuan.

He pulled the curtain to cover the mirror.

The hallucination disappeared.

He stood calmly for a while.

He thought to himself.

It seems the auditory and visual hallucinations are still ongoing, but they probably won’t last too long.

But he couldn’t check himself into a hospital. With no one to watch over him, this was indeed a bit dangerous.

Fortunately, while he was still out, he had told Shen Jichuan not to come over for the next few days. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to tell if Shen Jichuan was a hallucination or real, and he was afraid he would do something embarrassing that would tarnish ‘Mr. Shen’s’ image as a perfect adult.

Shen Jichuan was so smart; it would only take a moment for him to discover his abnormality. He would be scared away.

No.

He was perfectly normal.

This was just a stress response.

Thinking this, Shen Zhi felt that things couldn’t go on like this. Fortunately, he had been ill for many years and was quite experienced in dealing with such situations.

He rummaged through his small suitcase for a long time and found a bottle of sleeping pills he had used in a hotel at the beginning of his transmigration.

Although taking the medicine would make him dream, and the dreams probably wouldn’t be pleasant, it was at least safer than being awake.

It was better to sleep through the episode.

He took the sleeping pills. In his groggy state, he suddenly remembered.

Shen Jichuan had reminded him to eat.

The winter break ended, and students returned to school.

February 6th, 2012, was the Lantern Festival.

Today, February 7th, was the sixteenth day of the first lunar month. There were four months left until the college entrance examination on June 7th.

After a one-day buffer, on February 8th, the second day of school, the school specially arranged an opening exam for the third-year high school students. The purpose was to snap them out of their lazy winter break and get them to quickly throw themselves back into their studies.

Ji Su wailed his way through the last subject, cursing the school, Chinese, Math, English, and Science Comprehensive all in one day. This is inhuman, my head is going to explode.

The teachers are grading the papers overnight. The results will probably be posted on the classroom wall by tomorrow evening. Is this the pace of sprinting towards the college entrance exam… I feel like a pig being dragged along, boohoohoo.

Although he howled dramatically and always copied others’ homework, his academic performance wasn’t bad.

After crying for a while, he noticed the person next to him wasn’t reacting. Ji Su was glum. Brother Chuan, one day of school, one day of exams. You haven’t been yourself these past two days. What’s on your mind? Something bothering you?

The exam was over, and everyone was moving their desks back.

Shen Jichuan returned his desk and review materials to their original spots. Oh, it’s nothing.

After the evening self-study session, he took out his phone to send a message.

Shen Jichuan: Brother Shen, I’m done with my exams. I did so many practice questions over the winter break, my score should improve quite a bit this time.

No reply.

He swiped his finger up. From the start of school yesterday to the end of exams today, in two days, he had sent many messages.

Brother Shen, Chengzong wanted to borrow my clothes, but I didn’t lend them to him. I feel like since you bought them, it’s not right to lend them out.

First day of school, I gave a speech under the national flag. The wind on the stage was really strong. I wanted to sneeze but managed to hold it in.

Brother Shen, I’m at your door. I knocked but there was no response. Looks like you’re not home. Alright, you have to eat well.

Brother Shen, where is the place you do your oil paintings?

Brother Shen, good night.

Brother Shen, have you eaten?

Out of so many messages, Brother Shen had only replied to one, the one about him sneezing: It’s cold at the start of school, be careful not to catch a cold. I’m painting, so it’s not convenient to reply to messages.

In truth, he had sent so many messages because he was worried about whether Brother Shen’s stress response had subsided and was trying to test the waters.

That reply had dispelled his doubts.

But that was the only reply he received. The rest were all him talking to himself.

Shen Jichuan looked through them and felt that he was really too annoying.

How could a person have so much trivial nonsense to say?

If only he could retract them.

Another day passed.

The school posted the report cards.

Holy crap! The first place changed!

Holy crap! The gap between first and second is huge! Is this guy even human?

Shen Jichuan, the one who gave the speech under the flag at the start of school. He’s so handsome. Holy crap, he’s here. Look, look, is that him!

Shen Jichuan stood in front of the school’s public display board with the report cards. The surrounding students looking at the results were all exclaiming in shock.

Ji Su was stunned. Bro… you ascended to a higher realm behind our backs during the winter break.

Shen Jichuan was very happy. He raised an eyebrow and said with a smile, My ascension was with the help of a great power.

Which great power is so awesome?

Shen Jichuan didn’t say.

He looked at his name, ranked high in first place, and thought to himself that this didn’t let down all the practice questions Brother Shen had gotten for him.

This wasn’t his achievement alone; he had to show it to Brother Shen.

He couldn’t take the large report card from the display board, but Shen Jichuan specifically used a break during evening self-study to ask his homeroom teacher for a printed copy of the small report card.

He folded the report card and put it in his schoolbag.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of anticipation. He finally had a reason. He would go find Brother Shen tonight.

💝 Support the Team

soowe05

✍️ Translator

💙 PayPal