Hongxing People’s Commune, Kaoshan Village, Summer 1975

In the woodshed behind the old Su family home, more than a dozen family members were huddled together.

“That crazy girl is finally old enough to marry. Let’s hurry up and marry her off so she can go terrorize someone else’s family!”

The speaker was a middle-aged man missing the front half of his hair, making him look like a balding monkey.

The old man beside him, whose head was completely shaved, shrank back.

“I ain’t saying it. You all can.”

“How about we ask a matchmaker to set her up? If one man doesn’t work out, try a few more… Eventually we’ll find somebody that lunatic likes.”

“Sounds reasonable. But who’s going to tell her?”

Silence.

A long silence.

Finally someone muttered,

“Same old rule? Rock, paper, scissors…”

Outside the woodshed, Su Fu squatted by the door with a stalk of grass dangling from her mouth and listened to everything. Then she climbed over the wall, circled around, and came back through the front gate as if she’d just arrived.

“No one’s home? Perfect. I’ve been craving meat today.”

She pulled a cleaver from behind her waist and headed toward the chicken coop.

Old Madam Su, Wang Xiaojiao, burst out of the house like a gust of wind.

“Spare the chicken!”

Good heavens!

Those two hens had only started laying eggs yesterday. If this little demon ate them, her heart would ache to death.

Su Fu had never intended to kill them anyway.

She just wanted to scare the old woman.

After all, the whole family had already written the script. Wouldn’t it be a waste not to give them a stage to perform on?

Sigh. I’m just too kind-hearted.

“Fine, I’ll do you a favor. Otherwise you’ll go around saying I don’t respect my elders. The Su ancestors must’ve had smoke rising from their graves to be blessed with such a good-tempered granddaughter.”

Old Madam Su’s face turned darker than coal.

Smoke rising from the ancestors’ graves?

If anything, the graves should be belching black smoke to produce a creature like her!

It wasn’t as if the Su family had never tried to fight back.

They’d secretly consulted spirit mediums countless times.

They’d even relocated the family graves no fewer than three times.

Nothing worked.

Absolutely nothing.

Logically speaking, a family this large shouldn’t have been controlled by one young girl.

But as the saying went:

The fierce fear the reckless.

The reckless fear those who don’t care whether they live or die.

And on top of that, the damned girl had a godfather who worked as a police officer…

The more Wang Xiaojiao thought about it, the more bitter she felt.

What a curse!

Su Fu tilted her head and grinned crookedly.

“Get cooking already. You don’t act like an elder at all.”

“I respect my elders. Since I’ve respected you, shouldn’t you love me, the younger generation?”

The woodshed door creaked open and more than a dozen people poured out.

Young and old. Men and women.

Their eyes held fear, hope, and resentment.

The middle-aged man with half his hair missing squeezed his eyes shut, steeled himself, and strode over.

“Cra— I mean, Fu Fu… You’ve graduated from high school now. Have you ever thought about… getting married?”

This man was Su Fu’s second uncle, Su Er.

The missing hair was courtesy of Su Fu, who had shaved half his head in the middle of the night two weeks earlier.

He’d actually woken up during the process.

But when he’d seen the ghostly smile on his niece’s face, he’d been too terrified to make a sound.

Su Fu looked him up and down.

“Marry someone like you? An ugly, poor, spineless loser? And spend my whole life being miserable?”

“I’ve never planned on getting married.”

“I’ll stay home, properly honor my elders, and take care of my younger cousins.”

“Go ask around. What granddaughter, niece, or older sister could possibly be more filial than me?”

“Having me in this family is your blessing.”

…

The Su family did not want that blessing.

When Wang Xiaojiao heard Su Fu say she didn’t want to marry, despair nearly crushed her.

No.

There was still hope.

She immediately started listing the benefits of marriage.

“How can anyone not get married? Once you’re married, you’ll have someone to care for you and keep you warm.”

The rest of the family eagerly joined in.

As long as Su Fu left the Su family, they didn’t care whose family she destroyed.

“Your grandma’s right. Then you’ll have in-laws who cherish you.”

“Your second aunt’s right. Then you can have a couple of smart, obedient children and enjoy a happy family.”

“Your third uncle’s right. Marriage is nothing but benefits…”

“…”

“…”

Honestly, Su Fu admired their ability to lie with a straight face.

A caring husband?

The men in the Su family wouldn’t even pick up a fallen soy sauce bottle.

Loving in-laws?

If they weren’t busy dealing with her, these aunts would be fighting Wang Xiaojiao eight times a day.

Benefits?

Yeah, right.

Even a dog on the roadside wouldn’t believe that nonsense.

After they finished talking, Su Fu spread her hands.

“Say whatever you want. I don’t like a single man in this village.”

That part was true.

She wasn’t opposed to marriage.

But if married life wasn’t better than being single, then getting married was just voluntarily making yourself suffer.

Most of the men in the village barely bathed.

Forget brushing their teeth.

Every time they opened their mouths, the smell could kill.

The Su family was the same.

Whenever they ate together, Su Fu carried her food back to her room.

Wang Xiaojiao thought silently:

The men in the village don’t want to marry you either…

But she was good at focusing on key points.

Didn’t like village men?

Fine.

Then they’d find someone from outside the village.

Hope rekindled.

“What kind of husband do you want?” Wang Xiaojiao asked eagerly. “I’ll tell the matchmaker. We’ll keep arranging meetings until you’re satisfied.”

The rest of the Su family watched with desperate anticipation.

They looked as though they wanted to kidnap a man and force the wedding immediately.

Oh? So we’re finally getting to the real topic?

Su Fu smiled sweetly.

“First: he has to be handsome. At the very least, not worse-looking than me.”

“Second: he has to be clean.”

“Third: he has to be tall. At least six feet.”

“Fourth: he has to be a good cook.”

“Fifth: he has to be healthy. No missing limbs.”

“Sixth: he has to do housework.”

“Seventh…”

“Eighth…”

“Ninth…”

“Tenth…”

After finishing, she paused.

“Let’s start with those requirements. I’ll add more later if necessary.”

Wang Xiaojiao exploded.

“Who do you think you are, some heavenly fairy?!”

The rest of the Su family nodded vigorously.

There wasn’t a man like that in the village.

There probably wasn’t one within a hundred miles.

And even if there were—

Did Su Fu really think she deserved him?

Su Fu didn’t need a mirror.

She had absolute confidence in herself.

Even the Jade Emperor himself couldn’t convince her otherwise.

Blinking innocently, she said,

“Weren’t you the one who said you’d find someone who satisfied me?”

“Lying gets you struck by lightning, you know.”

The moment the words struck by lightning came out, the entire Su family visibly shuddered.

Because they’d actually been struck by lightning before.

The lightning never hit anywhere else.

It always hit the Su family roof.

Crackling and booming overhead.

Even now, remembering it made their scalps tingle.

That was another reason they were terrified of Su Fu.

She wasn’t just crazy.

She was downright supernatural.

Wang Xiaojiao was terrified too.

The fire had burned off half her hair that time.

If it hadn’t been extinguished quickly, she’d have died.

And the person who saved her?

None other than Su “Great Philanthropist” Fu herself.

Wang Xiaojiao looked like she was about to cry.

“Fu Fu… they don’t allow feudal superstition anymore. Where am I supposed to find you an immortal?”

As far as she was concerned, only an immortal could meet those standards.

Facing more than a dozen staring eyes, Su Fu sighed dramatically.

“Fine. I won’t make things difficult for you.”

“If I like him at first sight, that’ll do.”

“I’m so easygoing. Someone else would’ve gotten angry already.”

“My temper is just too good.”

“It’s hard being an orphan with no parents to stand up for me. People are always bullying me.”

Wang Xiaojiao: Have you no shame?!

The rest of the Su family: Exactly!

Ignoring them, Su Fu waved her hand.

“Why aren’t you cooking yet? Planning to starve me?”

The family scattered immediately and rushed off to their chores.

Su Fu glanced at them before swaggering back to her room.

Marriage?

That depended on fate.

If she met someone she liked, she’d marry him.

If not…

Heh.

Then she’d stay right here and be a filial granddaughter to the Su family for the rest of their lives.