Wang Xiaojiao seemed to whisper something to a round-faced middle-aged woman. A moment later, the two of them went inside and shut the door.

From the look of it, they were definitely up to no good.

Su Fu glanced around.

After making sure no one else was in the courtyard, she slid down from the tree, climbed over the wall, and sneaked closer to eavesdrop.

As soon as they sat down inside, Wang Xiaojiao launched into a long-winded rant about Su Fu’s “unfilial behavior.”

Only after talking herself nearly hoarse did she finally get to the point.

“I came to ask you to help put on a little act. If it works out, I’ll give you five yuan.”

The matchmaker was tempted.

After all, introducing a couple usually earned her no more than two yuan.

“How exactly am I supposed to act? I won’t do anything that ruins my reputation.”

If she lost her reputation, who would ever hire her as a matchmaker again?

No five yuan was worth destroying her livelihood.

Wang Xiaojiao waved dismissively.

“Don’t worry. I just want my granddaughter to settle down and get married properly. A marriage arranged by elders can’t possibly harm a younger generation, can it?”

The matchmaker chuckled.

“And which young man are we talking about?”

Wang Xiaojiao replied, “A Li family from the mountains. There are five brothers in the household, all hardworking laborers. My granddaughter will live like a queen once she marries in.”

The moment she heard that description, the matchmaker knew exactly which family she meant.

That family had approached her not long ago looking for a bride.

She’d turned them down because they offered too little money and made too many demands.

But now things were different.

If she pulled this off, she could collect money from both sides.

Most importantly, her reputation wouldn’t suffer. Once the girl married into that family, there’d be no chance of her escaping anyway.

Besides, if even the girl’s own grandmother wasn’t ashamed, why should she feel guilty?

Thinking this through, the smile on the matchmaker’s face became much more genuine.

“All right, old sister. Tell me how we’re going to stage this little performance…”

Outside, Su Fu listened with a face full of disbelief.

A mountain village. Several brothers…

Could this be the very family Auntie Hu had mentioned?

Well, well, well.

This had Su Meimei’s fingerprints all over it.

The poisonous woman had actually been willing to spend five whole yuan on this scheme.

Should Su Fu admire how much Su Meimei loved herself?

Or how much she hated Su Fu?

What puzzled Su Fu most was this:

Why did they think that one little performance would somehow trick her into marrying into some remote mountain village?

Did she look stupid?

She pulled out the small round mirror she always carried and examined herself carefully.

Nope.

Didn’t look stupid at all.

Still as pretty as ever.

She crouched there a while longer and listened to the rest of their plan.

Then she yawned.

That was it?

Had married life made Su Meimei soft in the head?

Su Fu couldn’t understand it.

But she respected it.

Heh.

It had been so long since she’d seen Su Meimei. She almost missed her.

At that very moment, Su Meimei, who was cooking dinner, suddenly sneezed.

Even her mother-in-law’s scolding failed to dampen her mood.

She could practically see scenes of Su Fu suffering and being tormented playing out in her dreams.

The thought filled her with delight.

The night was dark and windy.

Su Fu stood beside the bed for a long time.

Then she pulled out a razor blade.

Su Meimei rolled over and wrapped her arms around the snoring man beside her.

In a flirtatious murmur, she whispered,

“You naughty thing. We’ve been married for years and you’re still so impatient.”

Su Fu’s hand twitched.

She sped up her work.

When her masterpiece was finished, she stepped back to admire it.

If she ever couldn’t afford food, she could probably set up a little street stall as a hairdresser.

Mission accomplished.

And, being thoughtful as always, she even took the shaved hair away with her.

After a half-hour walk back from town, she collapsed into bed and immediately fell asleep.

Morning arrived.

The moment Su Meimei’s husband opened his eyes, he found himself staring at a perfectly round bald head.

He was so terrified he practically launched himself off the bed.

“AAAAAHHHHH! A GHOST!”

Startled by his scream, Su Meimei also jumped up.

The tiny room instantly turned into a comedy chase scene, with him running and her chasing after him.

The chaos only ended when Su Meimei’s mother-in-law slapped both of them across the face.

Finally regaining her bearings, Su Meimei reached up and touched her head.

Then came another ear-splitting scream.

“AAAAAHHHH! WHERE’S MY HAIR?!”

Su Fu’s imaginary response:

Buried it for you.

Maybe by autumn it’ll grow into a whole crop of hair.

Just kidding.

At that moment, Su Fu was still asleep, as usual not waking until the sun was already high in the sky.

While brushing her teeth, she heard two bird-like chirps from outside the door.

With her toothbrush still hanging from her mouth, she opened it.

Wang Cheng stood there looking suspiciously sneaky.

“Sis Fu, here’s your principal.”

He handed over some money.

Su Fu spat a mouthful of foam onto the ground and stuck the toothbrush back between her teeth.

After counting the money and confirming it was correct, she pulled a slip of paper from her inner pocket.

“This is the IOU you signed back then. We’re even now.”

She showed it to him briefly before tearing it into tiny pieces—so thoroughly destroyed that not even a god could put it back together.

“By the way,” she asked, “why are you acting so sneaky?”

Wang Cheng lowered his voice.

“Aren’t you going on blind dates? I was worried your future husband might misunderstand if he saw us together.”

“…”

Su Fu kicked him so hard he nearly flew away and then slammed the door shut.

“Idiot!”

After breakfast, Wang Xiaojiao hurried back home.

“Fu Fu! The matchmaker came with good news!”

Half reclining in a lounge chair, Su Fu looked completely uninterested.

“Oh? Found someone suitable already?”

Ignoring her attitude, Wang Xiaojiao shot the matchmaker a meaningful look.

The matchmaker immediately stepped forward and launched into an enthusiastic sales pitch.

Only after she finally stopped talking did Su Fu ask,

“Where’s he from?”

The matchmaker replied, “His family isn’t from town, but their home is spotless. Not even a single pile of chicken droppings anywhere.”

The truth was that they were too poor to afford chickens.

Naturally there were no chicken droppings.

“Oh? What’s he look like? Got a photograph?”

“The young man is incredibly handsome. You won’t find another like him in ten villages. No photograph, though. He doesn’t like having his picture taken.”

In reality, his family simply couldn’t afford photographs.

Given their circumstances, a trip into town was something they’d have to save years for.

“Oh? What about his family? Easy to get along with?”

“Absolutely. They even said that once you marry in, you’ll be the one running the household.”

Su Fu laughed out loud.

No wonder this woman was a professional matchmaker.

She could probably convince people that the dead were alive.

“Well, since you’ve described him so wonderfully, let’s meet. We’ll do it at the state-run restaurant in town.”

At the mention of meeting, Wang Xiaojiao’s face lit up with delight.

But the moment she heard “state-run restaurant,” her smile froze.

She quickly switched to a concerned grandmotherly tone.

“If you go to a restaurant, people will think you’re wasteful with money. Why don’t we just meet at home? Your grandma will even kill a chicken to entertain the guests.”

Although she said that, her heart was bleeding.

If Meimei hadn’t promised financial support, she’d rather let the chicken die of old age than feed it to this troublesome girl.

Su Fu’s casual expression disappeared.

She glanced toward the chicken coop before speaking.

“If I can’t even decide something this small, how am I supposed to run the household after marriage?

Forget it.

Find me someone else.”

Wang Xiaojiao glared at her so fiercely it seemed she wanted to bore a hole through her.

But at this stage, she had no choice.

She couldn’t let all their planning go to waste.

Forcing out a strained smile, she said,

“I was only thinking of what’s best for you. If you don’t want to listen, fine.

Let’s schedule it for the afternoon the day after tomorrow. It’s an auspicious date.”

Su Fu stood up and yawned.

“Superstition isn’t good. I think tomorrow’s a great day. Let’s do nine in the morning.”

With that, she walked straight out the door.

As she passed the matchmaker, she even flashed her a bright smile.

Only after Su Fu was gone did the matchmaker speak.

“She doesn’t seem nearly as easy to bully as you claimed. This job costs extra.”

After a lengthy argument over money, Wang Xiaojiao reluctantly agreed to add another two yuan.

Grinding her teeth, she said,

“The important thing is getting him here tomorrow. And make sure he’s cleaned up properly!”

The matchmaker pocketed the money.

“Don’t worry. But you’ll have to cover the restaurant bill. His family doesn’t have any money.”

Su Fu, who had circled back to eavesdrop again, was speechless.

She headed up the mountain and stopped in front of her father’s grave.

Muttering to herself, she recounted the entire blind-date affair.

Finally, unable to resist, she asked:

“Dad… you weren’t actually a biological member of the Su family, were you?

They’re so stupid there’s no way they could’ve produced someone as smart as you.

Even if Mom was smart, if you’d been dumb, I definitely wouldn’t be this clever either…”