〈Chapter 11〉 

The Childhood Friend and the Ex-Girlfriend Have a Spat

 

* * *

 

Ever since she was struck by that kernel in the movie theater, Yerin had been aware of a tail following them.

Although she didn’t know exactly who was chasing them, it was obvious given the circumstances.

Assuming it was Im Chae-yeon and Yoon Sohee, Yerin revealed herself.

“Why don’t you stop following me already?”

Looking straight ahead, she saw a woman’s silhouette beneath a streetlamp. Hair as black as the night sky. A well-proportioned figure. It was Chae-yeon, her hair completely disheveled.

‘I don’t see Sohee.’

Did she go home early? Or did she take a different path while trying to find her? Yerin tilted her head at the unexpected situation.

‘Well, this works out. I needed to have a word with Im Chae-yeon one-on-one anyway.’

Stepping forward, Yerin spoke while hugging her teddy bear tight.

“Since you couldn’t persuade Si-hyeon, I guess you came to settle things with me this time?”

Chae-yeon didn’t answer the question; instead, she stared intently at the teddy bear in Yerin’s arms.

Up until now, she had received all kinds of accessories and cosmetics from Sihyeon.

Yet somehow, that teddy bear made her feel even more jealous.

Having watched everything the two of them did at the arcade, Chae-yeon frowned and brushed back her hair. Then, she asked the question that had been eating at her point-blank.

“Yerin. Are you interested in Si-hyeon?”

“What?”

 

It was out of the blue, yet it was the question that cut straight to the core.

Yerin let out a snort and replied.

“And if I am, what are you going to do? Give me a warning to stay away from him?”

“Exactly. That’s why I’m here.”

At Chae-yeon’s unhesitating affirmation, Yerin’s eyes narrowed.

“Hmm… I’m not really sure why I should listen to a word you say. You and Si-hyeon aren’t anything to each other anymore.”

Yerin continued, an eye-smile playing on her face.

“You’re nothing more than an ex-girlfriend, so why do you keep trying to interfere?”

Yerin’s voice was laced with mockery. At the provocative mention of being a “mere ex,” Chae-yeon clenched her fists so hard her palms began to sting.

She bit her lower lip and remained silent for a moment, only speaking once she had composed herself.

“I have no intention of letting things end like this with Si-hyeon. We’re going to make up and get back together soon, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped wagging your tail around him and just get lost.”

Chae-yeon’s tone became even more blunt and abrasive.

Far from being intimidated by that intensity, Yerin only grew more disgusted by Chae-yeon’s attempt to reconnect with Si-hyeon.

“I’m so speechless it’s actually ridiculous… You’re the one who said let’s break up, so what kind of fucked-up mindset is this, trying to cling onto him now?”

“Whatever my mindset is, a third party like you doesn’t need to know.”

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me. Regardless of what you’re thinking or why you want him back, I am going to stop you no matter what.”

Yerin had watched from the closest possible distance as Si-hyeon agonized throughout their relationship.

She saw him worrying about how to soothe her anger.

She saw him worrying about what he could do to make her happy.

Whenever he made even a minor mistake during a date, Si-hyeon would spend the entire day in a state of depression.

Yerin never wanted to see him in that kind of agony ever again.

“Rather than handing Si-hyeon over to someone like you, I’d be better off just dating him myself. Unlike you, I’ll shower him with affection, and I won’t make his life a living hell.”

Yerin’s declaration—her vow to snatch Si-hyeon away.

As Chae-yeon heard those words, all the lovey-dovey scenes she had witnessed today flashed through her mind.

The moment the two almost kissed in the theater.

The harmonious, cozy atmosphere she saw at the arcade.

Even that teddy bear he gave her as a gift at the very end.

At the sight of their behavior, which was indistinguishable from that of actual lovers, Chae-yeon clutched her tightening chest.

‘I can’t just stand by…’

If things kept going like this, she might actually lose Si-hyeon, just as Sohee had warned.

Belatedly feeling a sense of crisis, Chae-yeon forced a smile, pretending to be unbothered, and spoke.

“Why don’t you just quit? A girl like you is someone Si-hyeon wouldn’t even spare a glance at.”

“Of course he wouldn’t. He only thinks of me as a plain old female friend.”

Yerin let out a hollow, self-deprecating smile.

“But it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t look at me now. All I have to do is make him start looking at me from here on out.”

“You really think that’s possible?”

“Of course. Especially since my opponent is a personality-disordered wreck like you. There’s no way I can’t pull it off.”

Yerin continued, stroking the teddy bear.

“Honestly, you should’ve just treated him right from the start. Then you wouldn’t have broken up, and I wouldn’t have had a chance to slide in between you two.”

Sihyeon’s love for Chae-yeon had been genuine.

He’d acted like he’d give her his very liver and gallbladder if she asked.

If Chae-yeon had shown him even the slightest bit of affection…

There was no way those two would have ever broken up like this.

Chae-yeon knew that fact all too well, but…

“No. Whether it’s Si-hyeon or any other man, the moment you treat them well and rely on them, they’re bound to leave you.”

To her, that was an impossibility she couldn’t risk.

“What kind of bullshit is that?”

Unable to understand her meaning, Yerin blinked for a moment.

Regardless, Chae-yeon pressed on.

“Once a woman starts pouring her heart out, men begin to take it for granted and demand even more. And in the end, they dump you just because they’ve grown tired of you…!”

There was a heavy layer of emotion embedded in Chae-yeon’s composed tone.

Her face didn’t look like she was joking at all. She seemed to accept her own words as an absolute truth.

‘What is up with this girl…?’

Yerin realized that Chae-yeon’s philosophy was warped in some way.

She didn’t know what had happened in Chae-yeon’s past, but this conversation felt like it was hitting a nerve.

Just as Yerin was about to dig deeper into the matter…

Chae-yeon let out a shallow sigh and shook her head.

“…Forget it. No matter how much more we talk, someone like you who hasn’t experienced it will never understand.”

Yerin found it incredibly frustrating how Chae-yeon just said her piece and cut off the conversation whenever she felt like it.

As Yerin glared at her with annoyed eyes, Chae-yeon crossed her arms and spoke.

“Go ahead and try your best. If you keep acting like that, Si-hyeon will come back to me no matter what you do.”

“Ha. Shut the fuck up with that bullshit.”

Deciding that there was no longer any value in talking, Yerin left Chae-yeon standing there and walked away.

 

* * *

 

Arriving home, I placed the gifted teddy bear on top of my bed.

‘It looks so good…’

The atmosphere of my room, which had been nothing but dreary, changed noticeably just by setting down a single stuffed animal.

It felt like something deep inside my chest had finally been satisfied.

Every time I looked at it, a smile naturally formed on my lips.

Tap. Tap.

After poking the teddy’s nose a few times, it wasn’t long before I started my bath.

I submerged myself in the tub up to my mouth; as I exhaled, bubbles rose to the surface.

Inside my head, which was clouded by a furrowed brow, Chae-yeon’s overconfident declaration kept looping.

‘Why don’t you just quit? A girl like you is someone Si-hyeon wouldn’t even spare a glance at.’

It was a comment that was as infuriating as it was undeniable.

Hearing someone else say out loud what I already felt so painfully to my core made me feel like absolute shit.

“Seriously. Who does she think she is…?”

In the past, she might have had Si-hyeon’s love all to herself, but now, he likely views her as nothing more than a nasty-tempered ex.

Since neither of us has a chance right now, she had no right to look down on me.

‘God, she’s such an irritating bitch.’

I never liked Chae-yeon from the start.

The love I couldn’t get no matter how hard I tried—she managed to get it while doing absolutely nothing.

‘What the hell do I even lack compared to Im Chae-yeon?’

objectively speaking, I didn’t lose out to her in terms of looks or figure. Just in case, I even tried mimicking Chae-yeon’s hairstyle and fashion, but it only piqued his interest slightly. It never captured Si-hyeon’s heart.

‘Kim Si-hyeon, you idiot…’

If you had just dated me from the start, you wouldn’t have had to suffer. Why did you have to cling to a girl like that like some pathetic pushover…?

After resenting Si-hyeon for a while, I soon shook my head.

‘No, let’s stop blaming others. How was Si-hyeon supposed to know how I felt when I never even confessed in the first place?’

It had been nearly ten years since I started crushing on him, but I had spent that entire time hiding these feelings.

‘Because I knew it would never work out anyway.’

Back when I was naive, I also put in effort in many ways to win Si-hyeon’s favor.

However, by the time two, then three years of that had passed, I came to a realization.

It was true that Si-hyeon liked me, but it was nothing more than the affection one feels for an old friend, not romantic interest.

‘After I realized that, I was too busy just trying to maintain our relationship as friends.’

I was terrified that if I confessed and failed, we would end up drifting apart.

So rather than risking a relationship that felt almost like a gamble, I settled for the familiar role of being his best friend. I comforted myself with the thought that someday, Si-hyeon would eventually realize how I felt.

But then…

‘Yerin, I finally did it! Chae-yeon said she’ll go out with me!’

When I heard those words from Si-hyeon over the phone, the strength left my legs and I collapsed right where I stood.

It was a confession process that spanned five long attempts; Si-hyeon had been harshly rejected four times, yet he kept trying until he finally won her love.

He was the complete opposite of me.

Unlike me, who had been content with reality, Sihyeon had found the courage to act. And I believed someone like him deserved to be with the woman he loved.

No… at the very least, since I hadn’t even tried to confess my desire to date him once, I had no right to interfere with his love.

…That’s why I quietly let him go. I forced myself to justify it , telling myself that Si-hyeon’s happiness was my own.

I thought that as time passed, I’d be able to tidy up these feelings, but…

After Si-hyeon and Chae-yeon started dating, the aftershocks were beyond my wildest imagination.

Si-hyeon, who used to sit next to me during every lecture, was suddenly always in the seat next to Chae-yeon.

At Chae-yeon’s demand, Si-hyeon minimized his contact with all other women, including me.

Moreover, every time I tried to call him, the line was busy. Gradually, as I lost my place by his side, I began to deeply resent my past self.

‘If only I had summoned the courage back then. If I had confessed, even if I was prepared to be rejected, the one dating him might have been me!’

I repeated the same regrets countless times every single day.

I stayed up all night looking at photos of Si-hyeon, and whenever photos of the two of them were uploaded to social media, I was depressed the entire day.

The stress naturally led to binge eating, and I fell into a cycle of eating delivery food to my limit and then throwing it all back up.

“Whew…”

Was it because I was reminiscing about the past? Or because I’d stayed in the bath for too long?

‘I want to hear Si-hyeon’s voice…’

On a whim, I dialed his number. Even though I knew things weren’t like that anymore, the worry that the line might be busy again gripped me first.

[Hello?]

“Hey, Si-hyeon. I just called to see if you made it home okay.”

Fortunately, the call went through. Letting out a sigh of relief, I clutched the teddy bear and listened intently.

[Oh, I was actually just about to call you, too.]

“Really?”

It was nothing more than a minor coincidence, yet why was I so happy that we were both thinking the same thing?

It had also been a long time since we’d talked on the phone at night, and my heart kept fluttering.

[Ah. Come to think of it, I forgot to send you that money. Hold on a sec.]

“No, it’s fine. You even went through the trouble of winning me that plushie, so don’t worry about it…”

[That’s one thing, and this is another. You paid for the popcorn and the arcade games; I’d feel too guilty to let it slide.]

Classic Si-hyeon. He still hated owing people anything.

After laughing quietly so he wouldn’t hear it through the speaker, I cautiously made a suggestion.

“Then you don’t have to give me the money. Just treat me to a meal next time.”

[What? That’s a bit…]

“What? Why the reaction?”

[I’m just thinking that next time we meet, I’m probably going to drop at least a hundred thousand won.]

“Hey! Since when do you complain? You used to say it was nice to see me eating well!”

Maybe I should try eating less…

What if he stops wanting to meet me because the food costs too much?

While I was internally panicking, Si-hyeon’s gentle voice continued.

[I’m just kidding. Let’s just go to an all-you-can-eat meat place instead. That cool with you?]

“Of course!”

I successfully managed to set up a follow-up appointment naturally.

‘With this, I can see him again next time…’

Cheering internally, I hugged my pillow tight.

And just as I was rolling around on the bed…

[I had fun today. It was nice hanging out together after such a long time.]

Si-hyeon’s resonant voice echoed in my ear.

As expected… hearing it in person is great, but there was a different kind of charm to hearing it through the speaker.

“Yeah. I had a really great time, too…”

Except for that conversation with Chae-yeon on the way home, that is.

The woman who managed to ruin a perfectly good day right at the very end.

Thinking back on it, the words she said suddenly came to mind.

‘Whether it’s Si-hyeon or any other man, the moment you treat them well and rely on them, they’re bound to leave you.’

To me, it was a philosophy I couldn’t understand at all. Men leave the moment you treat them well? Could it be that Chae-yeon’s cold behavior was actually because of that twisted ideology?

I wondered if Si-hyeon, being a man, would actually agree with Chae-yeon’s words. Feeling anxious, I decided to ask him indirectly.

“Si-hyeon, the reason you broke up with Chae-yeon… it was because you were tired of her bossy attitude, right?”

[Huh? If I had to pick a reason, yeah.]

“Then, what if… what if Chae-yeon had shown you affection more often and treated you well? You definitely wouldn’t have broken up then, right?”

[I mean, obviously… but why are you asking me this all of a sudden?]

“…It’s nothing. I was just curious.”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what happened today.

If Chae-yeon’s arrogant personality was due to that warped ideology—and if there was some unknown reason behind it?

Knowing Si-hyeon’s personality, he would undoubtedly ask about that reason and try to comfort her.

Now that I finally have a chance because they broke up,I didn’t want to create an opening for them to get back together—even indirectly—from my side.

‘I guess I really am a selfish jerk…’

While I felt a sense of self-loathing for my selfishness, Si-hyeon—completely oblivious—continued the conversation.

[Anyway, did you see the KakaoTalk? The schedule for our department MT just got posted.]

“Really?”

[Yeah. They said we’re going in two weeks. The location looks like it’s toward the East Sea. Are you going?]

“I don’t know. If you go, I’ll go. If you don’t, I won’t.”

[What kind of logic is that? You should go regardless of whether I do.]

“Whatever. If you’re not there, I’m not going.”

[…Well, I am going. It’s a bit awkward since Chae-yeon and Sohee will be there, but I don’t want to skip out on the MT just because of that.]

“Is that so…?”

I’m going to the ocean with Si-hyeon… I should look up pretty swimsuits as soon as I hang up…

Afterwards.

Contemplating how to sweet-talk Si-hyeon during this upcoming MT, I became so engrossed in our conversation that an hour flew by in an instant.

Regrettably, our talk—which I wished could last forever—was beginning to wind down. Not wanting it to end like this, I mustered up my courage.

“Hey, Si-hyeon! I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately… would it be okay if I called you every night?”

[Why do you even need to ask permission for that? Any time is fine, so just call whenever you feel like it.]

“Okay!”

With that, I reclaimed one of the daily routines that had been snatched away by Chae-yeon.

If I could confess with the same kind of courage I just showed, could I finally become Si-hyeon’s lover?

I’m sick and tired of just being “friends.” I want to tell him as soon as possible… Yes, even if I have to use this department MT, I want to let him know how I feel.

That I love him more than anyone else in the world.

 

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