〈Chapter 19〉

Im Chae-yeon’s Past (2)

 

* * *

 

With her parents’ divorce as the catalyst, Chae-yeon grew reluctant to interact with men. She decided that if she was just going to end up hurt like her mother, she wouldn’t date at all.

However, that resolve didn’t last forever.

The reason it began to waver… was Suyeon’s remarriage.

After seeing that a man like her stepfather—someone who could love one woman so steadfastly—actually existed, Chae-yeon decided that she, too, wanted to meet a man like that.

‘But… how am I supposed to find someone like that?’

Having taken after Su-yeon, Chae-yeon’s beauty was also exceptional. Being called out to receive confessions was practically a part of her daily routine. However, filtering out a person like her stepfather from among them was an incredibly difficult task.

So, after asking her mother, she learned that her stepfather had confessed to her mother a total of five times.

‘Five times… is that even possible?’

Even Chae-yeon, who had received many confessions, had only ever been asked out twice by the same person. Discouraged by the thought that she might never meet a man like her stepfather in her entire life, Chae-yeon fell into a slump.

Then, one day.

“If you’re okay with it… would you like to go out with me?”

Kim Si-hyeon, a college classmate, confessed to her. It was a pathetic confession—the lines were cliché, and his voice lacked confidence. Chae-yeon rejected him without a second thought.

‘Was I too harsh…?’

Because of her growing anxiety that she might never find a partner in life, her response had ended up sharper than usual.

Her college life had only just begun. The thought that she had alienated one of her classmates right from the start gave her a headache.

But then.

Despite being rejected harshly, Si-hyeon’s confessions showed no sign of stopping. Even if he looked completely dejected the day after being turned down, he would eventually return with a face full of determination to convey his feelings once more.

‘Maybe… Si-hyeon might be…’

The man who would love her for a lifetime, just like her stepfather. With the budding expectation that Si-hyeon might be that person, Chae-yeon began to scrutinize his every move even as she continued to reject his confessions.

She monitored his facial expressions; she dragged Sohee along to follow him whenever he went to eat; and whenever Si-hyeon hung out with other women, she would stare at him with eyes full of anxiety.

And by the time the fourth confession had ended…

Even as she rejected him, Chaeyeon secretly hoped he would come to her again.

‘Just one more time… If he does, I’ll accept him.’

To anyone else, this would look like nothing more than cruel deception. But because Chae-yeon felt this could be her first and last relationship, she wanted to choose her partner with extreme caution.

‘I wonder what it feels like… to date someone.’

Overflowing with anticipation, she tapped her feet restlessly while waiting for the next confession.

However.

Perhaps he was unable to overcome the repeated heartbreaks. Si-hyeon’s face looked more downcast than ever before.

When several days passed and he still couldn’t manage a bright expression, it was Chae-yeon who started to panic.

‘Is it going to end like this?’

If she had known it would be like this, she would have accepted the fourth confession—Chae-yeon beat the ground in regret.

She began to hover around Si-hyeon, hoping he would confess again, when…

“Si-hyeon, just give up already. That Im Chae-yeon girl doesn’t have any feelings for you. At this point, you’re just being a nuisance by constantly clinging to her.”

Some girl was trying to force him to stop confessing. It was Han Yerin—the one who always stuck to Si-hyeon like glue.

‘He’s not a nuisance.’

She wanted to step in and reveal herself right then, but since they were in a secluded spot, it would’ve looked too unnatural.

So instead, she hid herself and listened in on their conversation.

“Just one more time. I’ll consider it the absolute last time… I want to try one more time.”

At this unexpected good news, Chae-yeon’s heart began to race. Just how much must he love her to go this far? A warm sensation spread through her chest.

‘Now is not the time for this.’

After hurrying to touch up her makeup, Chae-yeon passed by Si-hyeon’s side, feigning a chance encounter.

And the result.

“This is my last confession. If you reject me this time, I’m giving up for good.”

She had succeeded in hearing the fifth confession. Chae-yeon had succeeded in obtaining a man who would look only at her, just like her stepfather.

This time, she hadn’t the slightest intention of rejecting him. If anything—she felt grateful. With her heart pounding, she accepted the confession.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take long for Si-hyeon to take root in Chae-yeon’s heart after that.

He’d contact her every time to make sure she’d eaten; if she couldn’t sleep, he’d sing to her over the phone.

He was a man who always looked at her with eyes full of affection, and above all, someone who prioritized and loved her.

Chae-yeon fell for him at a rapid pace. And on the day she became certain of her love for him…

“Chae-yeon, I love you.”

“I love you t…”

The moment she tried to confess her feelings to Si-hyeon for the first time…

The image of her mother, reduced to a wreck, flashed through her mind.

No…

It wasn’t just her mother anymore.

She saw herself overlapping with that image.

‘You must not love a man. No—even if you do love him, never reveal it. The moment you reveal it, you will be abandoned.’

Words she had heard so often since childhood that her ears were practically calloused. Even though her mother wasn’t there, that voice kept ringing in her ears.

‘Look at Mommy. I managed to create a harmonious home without ever showing my heart, didn’t I? Daddy offers the love, and Mommy receives it. As long as I fully absorb his love, our family can stay together forever.’

Every time she tried to convey her feelings, it rang in her head as if she were under a curse. Cold sweat poured down her body, her breathing grew ragged, and her chest tightened.

She could not express the love that filled her heart.

“This makes no sense…”

Sensing that something was wrong with her, Chae-yeon hurried to receive psychological counseling. As a result, she learned that the events of her past had clamped shackles onto her heart.

‘I’m sorry… I’m so sorry that I’m like this…’

A woman who couldn’t even say “I love you.” At this rate, how was she any different from her mother?

Of course, regardless of her silence, Si-hyeon continued to love her; yet every time he did, Chae-yeon writhed in agony at her own pathetic self.

 

* * *

 

As she continued receiving therapy, and the guilt of being unable to express her affection kept piling up—

One day…

Seeing Si-hyeon and Yerin sitting together so harmoniously, Chae-yeon was seized by an indescribable sense of anxiety. According to what she’d been told, Yerin was just an old friend with no romantic feelings involved, but…

Unlike her own incomplete self who couldn’t say “I love you,” Yerin was a girl who was both pretty and capable of being honest with her own heart. In other words, she was someone who could snatch Si-hyeon away at any moment.

“Could you maybe keep some distance from other girls?”

Anxious about that reality, Chae-yeon tried to prevent Si-hyeon from contacting other women to cheat-proof their relationship.

“Yerin is actually quite shy around strangers… She probably has almost no friends besides me. Is there any way we can make an exception for just her?”

Worried about Yerin being left all alone, Si-hyeon couldn’t easily let go of his childhood friend. Frowning at this, Chae-yeon spoke firmly.

“No. I want you to keep your distance from everyone, Yerin included.”

Si-hyeon held his tongue. No matter how precious his relationship was, being told to cast aside Yerin—someone who had been like family for 15 years—was simply too cruel.

However, the longer that silence stretched, the more Chae-yeon’s agitation grew.

“Why can’t you answer? You said you liked me. Then shouldn’t having just me be enough? Why do you keep trying to protect another woman?”

Which comes first: romance with a first love, or friendship with a childhood companion? As the scales tilted back and forth in Si-hyeon’s mind, a panicked Chae-yeon grabbed him by both shoulders and shouted.

“Is this really something you have to agonize over this much? If it’s going to be like this, you should have just dated Yerin! Why even date me…!”

“Chae-yeon…”

“If this is how it’s going to be, let’s just break up!”

It was the exact opposite of what she truly felt. The moment the words left her mouth, Chae-yeon thought ‘Oh no’ and clamped her hand over her lips—but in that instant, she was pulled into Si-hyeon’s embrace.

“Huh…?”

Stroking her hair to comfort her, Si-hyeon forced out his words with difficulty.

“I’m sorry for making you feel anxious… I’ll do everything exactly as you say.”

“O-okay…”

Blackmail using love as a hostage. In that moment, she had been just like her mother dealing with her stepfather.

‘I hate this…’

She hated it—but it was undeniably the most effective method.

After all, just moments ago, Si-hyeon had been wavering… yet with a single “let’s break up,” he chose her.

For Chae-yeon, who was emotionally unstable, this became the only way to keep Si-hyeon by her side.

 

* * *

 

After Si-hyeon began keeping his distance from Yerin, his eyes constantly followed his childhood friend, watching with pity as she grew increasingly gaunt.

Si-hyeon, who kept looking at another woman instead of her.

Every time she saw this, Chae-yeon’s anxiety warped her personality even further, and she became coercive in order to maintain a firm grip on him.

However, each time she did, Si-hyeon would wear a look of sorrow, leaving Chae-yeon to writhe in guilt. She began a cycle of trying to erase those memories with alcohol, subsequently relying on Si-hyeon to carry her home on his back.

‘During times like this… I love that I can be held by him without even having to ask.’

His dependable back, the familiar scent of fabric softener, and even his gentle nagging telling her to watch her drinking.

Chae-yeon, who loved Si-hyeon so much it felt like she was going crazy, clung tightly to his body while pretending to be asleep.

‘I’m so sorry, and I love you so much…’

Despite the many hardships… their romantic life eventually managed to function to some degree.

Spending every spare moment looking at photos taken with Si-hyeon and bragging about him to her friends—Chae-yeon could proudly say these were the happiest days of her life.

 

* * *

 

As the duration of their relationship grew, something between them began to subtly shift.

The guilt Chae-yeon once felt over being controlling started to fade, and she began using it to handle Si-hyeon however she pleased.

Meanwhile, Si-hyeon—who had always placed himself in the weaker position—began to feel doubts about the relationship.

Then, on a sweltering summer day, Chae-yeon—who was hanging out with old friends—received a message from Sohee.

“A blind date?”

This wasn’t an ordinary blind date.

It was what you’d call a staged setup—a gathering arranged to help a friend end up with the person they had a crush on.

The friend Sohee mentioned was someone Chae-yeon was close with, so she wanted to help however she could… but a place where other men would be present? It felt like betraying Si-hyeon, and she was extremely reluctant.

“Sorry, I’m dating Si-hyeon right now. It feels a bit wrong for me to go to a place like that.”

So she rejected the offer. However, Sohee pleaded with a tearful voice, saying she had no one else to ask and begged Chae-yeon to just fill the seat. Unable to listen to her cry any longer, Chae-yeon made a complacent, ill-advised choice.

‘What should I do…’

While the two guys and two friends they met at the cafe were busy hatching their plan, Chae-yeon was shaking her leg in anxiety.

She was biting her nails, wishing for every second to pass quickly, when…

Ding.

A message arrived from Si-hyeon.

 

 

Si-hyeon: Chae-yeon, are you having fun hanging out with your friends?

Si-hyeon: I sent you some spending money to your account, so use that to buy something tasty with them. While you’re at it, brag about your boyfriend too, haha

Si-hyeon: I love you ♡♡

 

 

She checked the messages in real-time through her phone notifications. Because of the guilt of being at a blind date setup, she felt too apologetic to actually send a reply.

‘I love you too.’

Chae-yeon wanted to see Si-hyeon right that second. She didn’t plan on spending the money he sent here; instead, she intended to put it toward buying him new shoes. She had noticed they were quite worn out the last time they met.

‘Maybe I really should quit now…’

Chae-yeon started to open her mouth to speak, but seeing everyone around her engaged in such a heated discussion, she closed it again.

They were all counting on her to fill the seat, and she felt too self-conscious to ruin the mood and bail now.

 

* * *

 

Later. The blind date at the wine bar began. As previously discussed, Chae-yeon simply introduced her name and sat there with the mindset of just being a placeholder.

Ka-tok!

 

 

Si-hyeon: I have something to tell you. Text me after you’re done hanging out with your friends.

Si-hyeon: I’ll be waiting.

 

 

What could he possibly want to talk about?

After checking the message via the notification, Chae-yeon vowed to contact him the moment the blind date was over. While Sohee took charge of the proceedings, Chae-yeon was busy looking up the shoes she planned to buy for Si-hyeon.

But then…

“So, Chae-yeon, what are your hobbies?”

An unexpected situation arose. The man Sohee’s friend had a crush on started showing interest in Chae-yeon instead. No… in a way, it was only natural. Her beauty was far too superior to just be left as a “filler” member.

“I don’t have any.”

When Chae-yeon gave a blunt reply and looked back at her phone, the man let out a hollow laugh and scratched the back of his head. Despite that, he kept trying to strike up a conversation.

“I like surfing. It happens to be summer, so it might be fun for all of us here to go together sometime.”

She ignored the man’s words outright.

‘Come to think of it, I haven’t been to the beach with Si-hyeon yet. Should we make Haeundae our next date spot?’

She even had that swimsuit Si-hyeon absolutely loved. He might be really happy if she wore it then. And if the mood got right…

Feeling embarrassed by her own thoughts, Chae-yeon gulped down her wine.

“Whew…”

Fanning herself with her hand, she looked at her smartphone again. Not long after, a call came in from Si-hyeon.

‘What do I do… if I answer now, he might find out…’

Because she had so much to feel guilty about, she hurried to mute the ringer. Then, as if trying to turn a blind eye to reality, she placed the phone face-down on the table.

‘I’m sorry. I’ll call you as soon as this is over, so please just wait a little longer.’

As Chae-yeon prayed for the blind date to end quickly, a message notification arrived shortly after.

 

 

Si-hyeon: Where are you right now?

 

 

A wine bar… She couldn’t possibly tell him the truth.

 

Si-hyeon: You’re taking a long time to reply. You’re not seeing another guy behind my back, are you?

 

 

Anxious at Si-hyeon’s uncanny intuition, Chae-yeon scanned her surroundings.

‘Thank goodness… he’s not here.’

Cold sweat ran down her spine. Feeling like things would turn disastrous if she left it like this, Chae-yeon told a lie with the mindset of “putting out the fire” first.

 

Me: What the fuck are you talking about, “another guy”? I’m just chilling at a friend’s house.

Si-hyeon: Which friend?

Me: Sohee.

 

 

Guilt began to crawl up her skin, and her heart raced with the fear of being caught. Just as Chae-yeon let out a shallow sigh and was about to tell him she’d contact him later…

 

 

Si-hyeon: Since when was Sohee’s house a wine bar?

 

 

The moment she received the reply, it felt as if time had stopped. Her body shot up on instinct. Chae-yeon turned her head, praying that no one would be there…

But Si-hyeon was standing right there. Wearing a terrifying expression she had never seen before.

“What the… Kim Si-hyeon, how did you even know about this place?”

Her mind went completely blank, and she felt as if her breath might stop. Her legs were shaking and her vision was gradually blurring; she found it strange that words were even coming out of her mouth.

“What the hell are you doing? You said it was just the girls, so why are there a bunch of guys sitting across from you?”

With every word Si-hyeon spoke, Chae-yeon felt deeper regret over her foolish decision.

‘No matter the circumstances… I should’ve refused something like this…’

Just as she wanted to hit herself for it, Si-hyeon continued, his voice filled with anger.

“Actually, don’t bother explaining. I think I get it. Three guys, three girls. All paired up, only a damn idiot would not to see what’s going on.”

“I know what you’re thinking, but this is a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding, my ass. The fact that you’re even here means you’ve been cheating behind my back.”

“I’m telling you, it’s not like that.”

The idea of her cheating on Si-hyeon was utterly absurd. Throughout their entire relationship, she hadn’t even spared a glance at another man.

“Then go ahead, make an excuse. I’m listening.”

Chae-yeon glanced at her friends, preparing to tell the truth exactly as it was, when Sohee stood up urgently and spoke.

“Si-hyeon, Chae-yeon really didn’t do anything wrong. She kept saying she didn’t want to come, but I’m the one who dragged her here!”

“Doesn’t matter if you brought her or some other guy brought her. She should have refused until the goddamn end. Does it even make sense to go on a blind date when you have a boyfriend?”

It didn’t make sense. That was why Chae-yeon was regretting it so bitterly. Like a criminal trying to hide their shame, she felt a desperate urge to escape the wine bar.

“Let’s just go outside and talk. What the hell do you think you’re doing in front of all these people?”

“Why? Are you embarrassed because people are staring? Well, that’s a relief. At least it seems you’re aware you did something shameful.”

“I told you it was a misunderstanding. I only came to fill the headcount. I had absolutely no intention of going on a blind date.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to believe that? I saw you look right at your phone when I called and ignored it because you were in the middle of a date. Do I look like a fucking joke to you, Im Chae-yeon?”

He saw everything… Chae-yeon felt her vision spin. She had no idea how to untangle this mess. The path ahead looked bleak.

“It’s not like that, so stop jumping to conclusions. I was just…”

Just as she was about to continue, the guy from the blind date who had shown interest in her opened his mouth.

“I don’t get why this guy is making such a scene when this whole mess happened because he couldn’t keep his own girlfriend in line.”

Stunned by the uninvited guest’s sudden intrusion, Chae-yeon was left speechless.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“Did I say anything wrong? Ms. Chae-yeon must’ve come out on a blind date because she’s not satisfied with her boyfriend.”

“You little bastard…”

Chae-yeon was horrified by this atrocity, which felt like crashing a fuel truck into a house on fire. Consumed by rage, Si-hyeon grabbed the man by his collar.

“What? You gonna hit me?”

The atmosphere was growing increasingly violent. Worried that Si-hyeon might get hurt, Chae-yeon hurriedly pulled on his arm.

“Stop it already!”

“Get off me.”

Si-hyeon coldly brushed her hand away, and Chae-yeon felt like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.

“Go ahead, Chae-yeon, let him go. I’ll help you cut ties with this guy once and for all.”

On top of everything, the blind date guy’s continuous “trolling” was truly enough to drive her insane. Regardless of whether he was her friend’s crush or not, Chae-yeon couldn’t take it anymore. She glared at him as if she wanted to kill him and spoke.

“I don’t know why you’ve been acting all familiar with me, but you need to shut the hell up.”

In her heart, she wanted to scream every curse word in existence at him, but Chae-yeon decided that calming Si-hyeon down was the priority. Fortunately, the blind date guy was now quiet and staying in his lane. She spoke as she headed toward the exit.

“Kim Si-hyeon. Outside. Now.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you insane? Why the hell are you acting like such a goddamn thug? I told you to stop!”

Why was she acting like this?

Back in the wine bar, she had intended to apologize—but now, afraid of being scolded by Sihyeon, she flipped the script and took the dominant stance instead.

To quickly suppress his anger… she chose the worst possible option.

“This never would have happened if you hadn’t gone on a blind date in the first place.”

“No! You think I went because I wanted to? Sohee begged me to come with her, so I just sat there. Is that such a crime?”

What right did she even have to talk back like this?

Even as she argued, her head spun, like she might collapse at any moment.

“Of course it’s wrong! It’s not like Sohee doesn’t have other friends—why did you have to go? If it were me, I wouldn’t have gone even if it was just out of basic goddamn decency.”

She had no comeback to that.

Not a single word.

So she kept her mouth shut.

After a moment of silence, Sihyun spoke again,

“Apologize. Say you’re sorry, and I’ll let it slide just this once.”

To think he would let it slide with a single apology after she had done something like this… How incredibly kind he was.

Chae-yeon’s lips flickered as she prepared to lean on that mercy.

“I’m sorry…”

“You’re too quiet. What did you say?”

Was her voice too small? Just as she was about to apologize to Si-hyeon again, a single thought suddenly flashed through her mind.

‘If I bow my head here… I won’t be able to control Si-hyeon anymore.’

Even if it was a misunderstanding, the fact remained that Chae-yeon had met other men. Despite having blocked Si-hyeon from any contact with women, she was the one who had messed up first.

This would undoubtedly give Si-hyeon leverage. In the future, if she got angry at him for meeting Yerin, he might bring this incident up to justify his own actions.

‘I don’t want that…’

Chae-yeon was well aware that she was a selfish woman. Even if she was a selfish woman, even if she was cursed at for being a trashy woman…

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not apologizing. Ever.”

She wanted to stop Si-hyeon from going to another woman.

“What…?”

His dumbfounded expression was reflected in Chae-yeon’s eyes. She, too, was aware of just how absurd her words were.

However, for Chae-yeon—who couldn’t express affection and had long since drifted away from warmth—this sort of pathetic behavior was the only thing she knew how to do.

“More importantly, how the hell did you know I was there? Have you been stalking me or something?”

“Hey, Im Chae-yeon…”

Chae-yeon knew she was crawling into a pit of evil of her own accord. However, it was impossible to turn back from the path she had already chosen.

“You’re always running your mouth about how much you love me, and now you’ve moved on to stalking me? Is that it?”

Chae-yeon knew Si-hyeon would never do such a thing. This was merely a desperate struggle to seize the upper hand. Chae-yeon felt so disgusted by herself that her stomach churned.

“Fuck! Just knock it off already!”

“Did you just… curse at me…?”

“You’d rather frame your own boyfriend as a piece of trash just to avoid giving a simple fucking apology, If it were you, wouldn’t you be cursing too?”

It was the first time she had ever heard Si-hyeon curse. It was incredibly shocking, but in a way, she felt a sense of relief. Deep down, Chae-yeon had been cursing her own incomplete and selfish self, too.

“You’ve really lost it… Is this because you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

Driven to her limit, Chae-yeon finally pulled out her last resort. As she always did, she tried to suppress his anger by taking their love hostage…

“Are we even really a couple?”

“…What?”

She was stunned by his unexpected response.

“Other couples can’t wait to express their love for each other, but in all the time I’ve been with you, I haven’t heard you say ‘I like you’ even once…”

Si-hyeon began to pierce through the very thing Chae-yeon was most sensitive about, using all the pent-up resentment he had accumulated until now.

‘It’s not like that… I like you too!’

However, unable to speak honestly, Chae-yeon replied while feeling as if her heart were being scorched.

“So what? Isn’t being able to date me enough for you? You’ve been doing just fine until now, so why are you making a scene all of a sudden?”

Maintaining the status quo?

No, she just wanted him to wait—until she could fix herself.

And when that day came…

she had already resolved to tell him everything she had been unable to say.

But Si-hyeon, who had no way of knowing that, continued to speak.

“Do you really think the way we are right now is ri… actually, no, do you even like me at all?”

She liked him. After a date, she would stare blankly at the photos they took all night long.

When it was time for his call, she would stop everything she was doing and wait with a fluttering heart.

“Why can’t you answer?”

She liked him so much that just seeing him talk to another woman made her depressed all day…

But Chae-yeon could not express it to the end. No matter how many times she tried to say she liked him, her gloomy past strangled her throat and tore through her brain.

“Selfish bitch.”

Ultimately, Si-hyeon began to walk away, and Chae-yeon watched his receding back with eyes full of terror.

“Hey, Kim Si-hyeon! Are you really going to break up with me like this?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s end it here. I’m exhausted now…”

The fear that she might be abandoned shook Chae-yeon’s mind. Unable to think clearly, she was desperate to stop Si-hyeon by any means necessary.

“Don’t you dare take another step… If you move, it’s really over.”

At Chae-yeon’s strained words, Si-hyeon stopped in his tracks as if he had lingering regrets. But before long, he began to walk again, and at the same time, he jerked his fist upward.

‘That…?’

What did it mean? As Chae-yeon’s attention was fixed on him…

Si-hyeon’s middle finger drove a dagger into her heart.

“Hey!!”

A stunned Chae-yeon collapsed onto the spot immediately. Tears began to pour down. Regardless of whether others were staring or not, she was consumed by the agony of the breakup.

“Please come back… I’m sorry… I said I’m sorry…!”

She offered her apology belatedly, but Si-hyeon had already left. While Chae-yeon wailed, rain began to fall from the sky, soaking her body bit by bit.

‘I hate myself so much…’

Could staying in the rain long enough give her hypothermia?

Overcome with self-loathing, she remained kneeling on the ground, motionless.

“He said let’s break up… He said he’s exhausted…”

She spent nearly 20 minutes drowning in self-reproach, replaying Si-hyeon’s final words. Then…

“Chae-yeon!”

Sohee, who arrived late, rushed over and lifted Chaeyeon up, who looked like a lifeless corpse.

“Chae… Chae-yeon, why are you like this? Where’s Si-hyeon…?”

“He told me to break up…”

Sohee realized that she had committed an outrageous blunder.

‘It’s all because of me…’

Sohee didn’t know how to apologize to her best friend, who used to brag about Si-hyeon every day and beam with joy while looking at his photos.

“I-I’m so sorry!”

She simply knelt on the ground and bowed her head low. Even though there was a puddle, Sohee apologized without a care, while Chae-yeon stared at her blankly.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to blame Sohee, but she felt the bigger problem was that she had followed her to the blind date in the first place.

“I-I will definitely get you two back together. No matter what happens, I…!”

To the frantically apologizing Sohee, Chae-yeon spoke in a low voice.

“I want to be alone…”

Returning home alone, Chae-yeon climbed onto her bed without even changing her clothes. She pulled her knees to her chest.

‘Now, even I don’t know what’s what anymore…’

Love me. Stay only by my side. Don’t even look at other women. Chae-yeon felt disillusioned by her own selfish and contradiction-filled self.

 

 

Me: I’m sorry for saying such harsh things. If you’re okay with it, could we meet now…?

 

She didn’t want to break up like this. No matter what happened, she had to apologize for this specific incident.

Just as Chae-yeon was about to hit the send button…

“No… let’s meet in person tomorrow and talk.”

After a day passed and Si-hyeon’s anger had subsided, she decided they should talk.

Vowing to pour out everything—her psychological issues and the problems she had been agonizing over—she went to school the next day with a face full of determination.

In order to clear up the misunderstanding as quickly as possible, she went with Sohee and checked inside the classroom through the door window to see if Si-hyeon was there.

And there, she witnessed Si-hyeon and Yerin sitting together affectionately.

‘Did you go straight to Yerin the moment you broke up with me…? What was I to you, anyway…’

Slam!

Consumed by rage, Chae-yeon threw the door open with force. Her desire to settle things through conversation vanished in an instant, replaced by a sense of betrayal toward Si-hyeon for leaving her for Yerin.

‘What was I to you, really…?’

 

* * *

 

《Scene transitions back to the MT trip》

Chae-yeon woke up parched, took a bottle of water from her bag, and drank. Looking around, everyone was passed out, soaked in alcohol. After confirming this, she quietly slipped out, careful not to make a sound, and headed to the other room.

And then.

“Si-hyeon-ah… I love you…”

She found Yerin hugging Si-hyeon tightly, as if he were a giant teddy bear. Si-hyeon looked like he was in pain even in his sleep. With a look of fury, Chae-yeon hurriedly pushed Yerin’s body away.

Roll, roll, roll…

Once Yerin was detached, Si-hyeon’s expression grew peaceful. Perhaps he was exhausted, as he was snoring softly. Chae-yeon pressed down on her phone’s speaker to silence it and captured that image in her gallery.

‘Cute…’

Afterward, she pulled his disheveled blankets back over him and brushed his hair to the side. His face, illuminated by the moonlight, was clearly visible, and his lips particularly caught her eye.

‘Even if it was just CPR, I wished you hadn’t done it…’

She stared with eyes full of discontent and touched his lips. As she tapped them, Si-hyeon’s brow furrowed. Chae-yeon quickly hid, but once she realized he wasn’t waking up, she approached him again.

‘Don’t go to Yerin… I’ll be better from now on. I won’t nag you, I won’t go near other guys, I’ll only look at you…’

Chae-yeon lowered her head toward Si-hyeon’s lips. Strangely enough, while he was sleeping, expressing affection became possible for her, so she often did this in secret.

Kiss.

“I love you…”

And the words she could never let him hear while he was conscious, she repeated over and over while he slept.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…”

Whispering so softly that only Si-hyeon could hear, Chae-yeon was soon kissing him while tears streamed down her face.

Just as her falling tears landed on the corner of his mouth and he shifted his body…

She had already fled the room.

 

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