〈Episode 2〉

 

The Pain of Breaking Up

* * *

Leaving Chae-yeon’s irritated voice behind him, Si-hyeon walked out of the park.

Just in case she followed.

Worried she might chase after him and see how pathetic and weak he looked right now. He quickened his pace.

He pretended to scratch the corners of his eyes while wiping away his tears, keeping his head low so no one could see his face.

“…….”

Casting his gaze downward, his shabby appearance stood out immediately. A plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. Bare feet shoved into black three-striped slippers.

To top it off, the wound from his fall had stained his shin a deep, bloody red.

‘No wonder it stings like hell…’

Seeing his own miserable state, Si-hyeon let out a hollow laugh.

A wave of emptiness and skepticism washed over him as he realized that no matter how much he struggled—even until he was turned into a total wreck—he couldn’t save his relationship.

‘Why did I even try so hard? It’s not like anything would’ve changed no matter how much I clung to her.’

This incident made it crystal clear: their relationship was never going to get better.

If she had truly loved him, would it even make sense that she couldn’t utter a single “I like you” to someone she’d been with for over a year?

Si-hyeon realized now that Chae-yeon had never seen him as anything more than an easy-to-handle slave.

Since he had already been branded as the absolute bottom of their social hierarchy, she was never going to give him anything he asked for, no matter what it was.

Drip… Plop…

Small water spots began to blossom across his stark white t-shirt.

It had started to rain.

In dramas, they say rain is nice because it hides your tears — but experiencing it himself, all Si-hyeon felt was irritation.

“…Damn, my luck really sucks.”

He grumbled under his breath and came to a halt, scanning his surroundings.

“You idiot! I told you it’s not like that!”

A couple walked by, arms linked, trading playful jokes.

“I love you…”

Another pair stood nearby, the girl leaning against the guy’s chest as they whispered sweet nothings.

The kind of relationship he could never obtain no matter how hard he tried was everywhere around him.

All he’d ever wanted was for Chae-yeon to be the one to say she liked him just once. Just once to initiate even the smallest bit of affection.

If she had done just that, Si-hyeon could have felt secure in his love. But having never received a single expression of affection, he was left with no choice but to doubt the very foundation of their relationship.

Those doubts piled up and piled up — until they finally led to today’s breakup.

“…This seriously fucking sucks.”

Letting out a bitter laugh at himself, he limped forward.

The rain-soaked night wind was unbearably cold and heavy.

* * *

On his way home, a roadside food tent (Pocha) caught his eye.

Si-hyeon wasn’t much of a drinker; even when he went out with friends, he’d usually switch to soda after just a few rounds. But tonight, he was craving alcohol like crazy.

He wanted to use the booze to vomit up the dark clouds that had taken up residence in his chest.

“Welcome.”

As he pushed aside the red tarp and stepped inside, he saw an older woman in a red apron.

The salty, distinct aroma of fish cake broth and the sweet scent of grilled chicken skewers hit his nose.

Swallowing his saliva, Si-hyeon pulled out a chair and placed his order.

“One fish cake soup and a bottle of soju, please.”

His insides were already burnt to a crisp anyway, so what difference would a little alcohol make at this point?

Si-hyeon felt a surge of baseless confidence—a feeling that tonight, no matter how much he drank, he’d be just fine.

“Kaaa…”

He took a swig of the soju straight from the bottle. After downing about three shots’ worth in one go, a refreshing groan escaped his lips.

Normally, he would have winced at the heat searing his throat, but right now, that pain actually felt goddamn good.

Because it felt as if his agony was caused by the booze, not the breakup.

“That rotten bitch… After I treated her so well…”

His mind grew numb from the alcohol, and the emotions he had kept suppressed started to seep out.

Tears he thought he’d already cried dry kept falling again, and a sobbing sound rose from his throat on its own.

“What’s so great about that fucking pride of hers? She couldn’t even say ‘I’m sorry’ just once…?”

What kind of man in this world would let it slide with a single apology after catching his girlfriend on a blind date?

If the roles were reversed and he was the one who cheated, Si-hyeon was confident he would have apologized hundreds, even thousands of times to earn forgiveness.

“Ugh… hic…”

He drained the rest of the bottle and thumped his burning chest. Then, he ordered another bottle of soju.

Tap.

He opened a dating community app he frequented on his smartphone.

[Relationship Advice] [Dating Stories] [Breakups] [19+], etc.

Since this had been his first relationship with a woman, Si-hyeon had spent every single day in the advice section of that community.

Trying to figure out whether there was some hidden meaning behind her reactions and texts.

What he should be careful about on dates. What kind of behavior counted as good manners.

The users there used to tell Si-hyeon he was “cute” for making such a fuss over the smallest things, and they always took his advice requests seriously.

‘They really were good people…’

But now that he’d broken up, he couldn’t keep posting in the relationship advice section anymore.

As a newly single man, the place he had to go wasn’t the advice corner…

[Breakups]

…but right here.

[Day 24 of praying for my ex-boyfriend to go bald. —RelationshipVoodoo]

[Met a girl I vibe with way more than my ex. What do?… —BronzeAtDating]

[Ex-girlfriend texted “How are you?” after 3 weeks. Is this the “Aftermath” hitting her? — InstantBreakup]

This was a space where people who couldn’t forget their exes gathered together to vent.

‘I figured someday I might end up posting here… but I didn’t think it’d actually happen.’

With a bitter heart, Si-hyeon posted his introductory message to the Breakup channel.

[I broke up with my girlfriend… — User: Chae-hyeonfanboy]

__My girlfriend told me she was going out with friends, but I found her at a wine bar on a blind date.

 

I found out by chance and went there to confront her. She insisted she was just filling a seat for a friend and that she did nothing wrong. In fact, she had the nerve to act like I was the one in the wrong.

 

She’s always been the type to never admit her faults, but I never expected her to act like this even after what happened. I think that’s why my disappointment was so huge.

 

Maybe that’s why I just gave in so easily when she told me to break up…__

After posting the message, Si-hyeon shoved a piece of now-cold fish cake into his mouth.

He took a clean sip of the broth and hit refresh. Already, a significant number of comments had flooded in.

[YankeeJustice: Lmfao “Just filling a seat for a friend”? That’s 100% bullshit. She definitely got caught cheating and threw her friend under the bus.]

[VirginUnicorn: It’s a miracle it only ended in an argument. If it were me, girlfriend or not, I would’ve buried my fist in her goddamn chin.]

[BreakupProphet: Just consider it like you stepped in dog shit and go find someone else. A woman who’s already looking at other guys will never fix that habit as long as she lives.]

Before long, Si-hyeon’s post became a “Hot Topic.”

Users were collectively enraged, asking what kind of girl even does that and that he was better off for breaking up.

Among them were people who had previously given him relationship advice. Knowing exactly how one-sided his relationship had been, they didn’t hesitate to use profanities that made him want to shield his eyes.

‘I guess breaking up really was the right move.’

The crowd’s anger gave justification to his breakup.

Even if he pathetically clung to her in the park, it would have only resulted in the same old dominant-submissive cycle repeating itself.

Instead, wouldn’t it be better—like the commenters said—to meet a woman who could actually love him back?

“Tsk.…Hoo…”

He drained about half of his second bottle of soju.

After replying to the comments one by one, Si-hyeon began browsing through other people’s posts.

[Fuck… my ex-boyfriend started a rebound relationship just a week after we broke up.]

[Ji-hoon, have fun dating a girl way uglier than me, you piece of shit ^^]

[Is it too late to apologize now? I miss my ex-girlfriend so goddamn much…]

So many different stories and worries.

Seeing all those people lamenting their breakups, Si-hyeon grew afraid that might become his future.

He let out a long breath and kept scrolling.

“…Huh?”

 

Then a post suddenly caught his eye.

[My ex-girlfriend keeps obsessing over me, what do I do…]

__We dated for about two years. She was the one who said we should break up all cool and confident, but now that I’m dating someone else, she won’t stop fucking calling me…

She keeps calling nonstop. And when I pick up, she’s all drunk, crying about how she was wrong and begging me to get back together.

I seriously have no fucking clue what to do…__

For Si-hyeon, who had done nothing but cling to his partner, the contents of this post were almost impossible to comprehend.

To his eyes, the author’s “suffering” looked like nothing more than the complaints of someone who had it too good.

‘I wonder what it feels like to have an ex-girlfriend beg for you.’

After rereading the post several times, he found himself projecting Chae-yeon and himself onto the story.

If that woman—so insufferably arrogant—were to beg him, how would he act?

Would he be soaked in a sense of vengeful happiness? Or would he get angry and tell her it’s too late? He couldn’t even predict his own reaction.

However, if Chae-yeon were to realize his worth, even if it was too late… if she were to sincerely apologize and tell him she loved him…

Then, it felt like all the suffering he had endured until now would finally be repaid.

‘Not that it would ever happen, though.’

Si-hyeon let out a snort and drained the rest of the soju. The burning sensation traced down his throat.

“Hoo…”

He let out a sigh tinged with alcohol, releasing the heat filling his body.

As he began to sink back into his thoughts, tapping his fingers against the leftover fish cake skewers…

Ka-tok!

A notification chimed from his phone.

[Aloe Tea Bag: Chae-Ba! You broke up with your girlfriend!?]

Aloe Tea Bag.

Back when Si-hyeon was in the thick of his relationship counseling,this was the person who’d sent him an open chat link, offering one-on-one counseling.

Addressing him as Chae-Ba—a shorthand for his nickname, Chae-hyeonFanboy, he was practically his guide in matters of love.

[Me: Yeah, I guess that’s just how things turned out…]

[Aloe Tea Bag: Ugh… I knew this would happen. I told you to dump her ages ago, didn’t I?]

Aloe Tea Bag had always viewed the relationship between Si-hyeon and Chae-yeon through a negative lens.

While they took his counseling sessions seriously, they had also constantly been harping on him to break it off.

[Me: I thought if I just kept treating her well, she’d eventually change. But I guess I was just deluding myself…]

[Aloe Tea Bag: It’s a relief you finally realized that. Anyway, what are you doing right now?]

[Me: Drinking at a roadside food Tent near my place.]

[Aloe Tea Bag: With who?]

[Me: Alone.]

[Aloe Tea Bag: Omg. Don’t do that, call a friend and drink with them. Ah… unless you don’t have any…]

[Me: I have friends, okay? I do, I just don’t call them because I don’t want to bother anyone.]

[Aloe Tea Bag: Eh? Why would that be a bother? When you break up, you’re supposed to meet friends, get some comfort, and talk shit about your ex. That’s how it works.]

[Me: Forget it. I’m just gonna drink alone in peace and then head out.]

[Aloe Tea Bag: Alright then… drink in moderation and get home safe. Stay strong!]

[Me: Thanks. Have a good night.]

[Aloe Tea Bag: You too, Chae-ba!]

After finishing the chat, Si-hyeon hesitated before turning off the screen and hit the back button instead.

On a whim, he entered the chatroom with Chae-yeon. The “1” had vanished, meaning she had read his messages, but there was no reply.

‘I figured she’d have sent a whole bucketload of insults by now. This is unexpected.’

Since Si-hyeon had nothing left to say either, he shut off the screen immediately.

He looked at the half-bottle of soju remaining and ordered some chicken skewers to go with it.

The food arrived, and just as he took a bite of a skewer perfectly coated in sauce…

“Ma’am, can I get one fish cake soup, please?”

A familiar voice reached Si-hyeon’s ears.

He looked up and saw a woman with wavy brown hair stepping through the tent flaps.

She looked like she’d just stepped out for a short walk, dressed in clothes you’d normally only wear at home. However, her striking beauty seemed to prove once again that fashion is completed by the face. People’s gazes, men and women alike, were drawn to her.

However, as if she didn’t notice any of it, she calmly looked around for a seat. Seeing that reaction, the men’s interest in her quickly cooled.

‘Everyone’s staring at her—does she really not notice?’

The woman took a seat at the table right next to Si-hyeon.

Her face was partially hidden by her hair. Si-hyeon stole a quick glance at her before turning back to silently drain his glass, but then…

“Huh? Si-hyeon? What are you doing here?”

He heard his own name come from the woman sitting next to him.

* * *